


Sunrise on Your Sins

by cuppalouie



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, BDSM, Closeted Louis, Coming Out, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Family Drama, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, M/M, Miscommunication, Pining, Prince Louis, Rentboy Harry, Secret Relationship, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-09 14:21:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12278331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuppalouie/pseuds/cuppalouie
Summary: Louis Tomlinson is at his wit’s end trying to keep up with all the responsibilities and demands that come along with being the Crown Prince of England. Exhausted and desperate for an escape, his life is suddenly derailed when in walks Harry Styles, renowned rentboy and expert on all things BDSM. Blessing or curse, Louis decides to see where this unlikely partnership will lead.Or: Sometimes the things that aren’t meant to last end up being the only reason we keep holding on.





	1. 04 September 2017

**Author's Note:**

> _The moodboard and playlist by the lovely @dimpled-halo_ ❤

 

 {[playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/mrsjackylopez/playlist/5DhiU8v7wHTFNWFR2ubgfA)}

 

04 September 2017

In all honesty, he was drained. Drained in every sense of the word.

And without an end in sight, Louis was at an impasse.

He busied himself examining the last few sips of bourbon settled at the bottom of his glass and let out a less than thrilled sigh. This was his second… or possibly third? one of the night and Louis was beginning to teeter on the edge of buzzed, quickly veering towards tipsy with every swig.  

Letting his eyes scan the crowd absentmindedly, a sea of repeat faces greeted him.

Actually, almost exclusively repeat faces. Yet somehow, Louis probably couldn’t begin to name more than maybe five or so without the help of his assistant.

Fucking Niall.

He couldn’t have even be arsed to wait until after Wednesday before jetting off with Lottie to Brazil for the week. Louis was pretty sure he was supposed to be _his_ PA so he wasn’t quite sure how he had lost out to his little sister. 

But he digressed.

At least one of them was getting some time to relax away from the palace and that was better than nothing, he presumed. In the meantime he would just have to somehow manage without Niall acting as his personal buffer for any and all unpleasant social situations. Fortunately for him, his tolerance was pretty high after years worth of practice. 

However, that wasn’t to say he thought he would be able to keep his composure through anything.

There were some things that he knew he definitely did not have the patience for at this point. And, as a gay man, talking politics around controversial topics like marriage equality with conservative old geezers or forcing a sweet smile and playful banter with hopeful girls would without a doubt be his undoing.

Louis checked his phone out of habit to find a text from his sister waiting to be opened. 

‘ _Wish you were here! x_ ’ with a picture attached of Niall sunburned half to death.  

‘ _Wish I was, too :( Tell that wanker I need name tags made for the next gala - or I’m just going to refer to everyone as ‘good sir’ and ‘fair lady’_ ’ Louis smiled to himself as he returned the phone to his jacket pocket.

He was truthfully envious of how much free rein Lottie was given in comparison as the second eldest. And normally Louis may have gotten to tag along but recently, well...

The longer he thought about it, the more he realized he still wasn’t quite sure what the last straw was that forced his father to attempt to rein him back in.

He guessed it may be a tie between ditching his handlers to go on walkabouts through London at all hours of the night and consistently showing back up with a new tattoo to add to his ever-growing collection.

Either way, the phrase ‘this is not very becoming of a respectable leader’ had become commonplace inside the palace walls.

Louis also assumed that having visitors at obscene hours of the night probably also fell under that category. Nevermind the fact that his father would probably irrevocably lose his shit if he found out that Louis’ guests were some of the same young parliamentary men he had shaken hands with on many occasions.

Whatever the case, it landed Louis in his current situation: shadowing the king twenty-four seven to learn what it ‘truly meant’ to be a ruler. And while Louis had always had a sense of what was awaiting him, the past month had without a doubt solidified just how much he did not want this.

Truthfully, it wasn’t even that Louis didn’t realize how important and necessary his family was to England – part of him even felt selfish for how much he was resisting. But he would rather be doing anything instead of sitting through another meeting with Lord Whatshisface reigning from Whogivesafuck.

He downed the last of his drink before making one last sweep through the crowd blanking on each and every name. Until a newcomer caught his eye. His interest peaked as the man chatted up a couple across the room, toothy smile on display and loose curls falling over his shoulders.

There was no doubt his suit was custom made, black, nothing really special about it aside from the way it framed his long, lean legs.

And then there was the button-up he wore underneath his suit jacket which was… well, actually a peach colored blouse with the top two buttons undone just barely teasing the top of his chest. If that wasn’t awful enough, the ensemble was brought together by a pair of boots whose shade matched his blouse to a tee.

Briefly Louis wondered how he was able to get into such an event when he was sorely out of dress code, but no one seemed to notice or care for that matter.

Louis probably wouldn’t have stopped him either, to be honest. If anything, he might have dropped to his knees immediately for him. He shook his head slightly.

_Stop it, you’re in public._

Once his eyes made their way back up above the man’s shoulders, he became painfully aware that not only had he been staring at this stranger for God knows how long, but that this stranger was looking straight back at him.

_Shit, shit, shit._

If his gaze had been half as erotic as his thoughts about what he would do to that boy, he was utterly fucked. He averted his eyes immediately, searching for someone – anyone to talk with.

“Uh, excuse me,” Louis caught the bar keepers attention, “if it wouldn’t be a bother, could I have another?” tripping over his words slightly trying to keep his composure.

When he was sure he wasn’t being watched anymore, he unconsciously let himself look back to see if the man was still standing across the way.

But he was gone.

“Hmm,” Louis bit his bottom lip, trying to make peace with his heart simultaneously sinking and the wave of relief that hit him. What would he have even done? It wasn’t like he could casually be flirting up this guy half drunk at a charity gala like this. He was pretty sure his family would never recover from such a scandal.

 

. . .

 

A few more hours and a few more forced social interactions passed before Louis decided that he would probably be safe to duck out without anyone noticing. He had to be up early in the morning for a meeting with his father and if he left now he could probably manage at least five or so hours of sleep. The thought alone was enough to make him smile.

Louis took the last sips of the drink he was nursing – number six – and sat it back down on the counter. He turned to leave, nearly running into someone in the process.

“Ahh, sorry, sorry!” he took a step back, “Wasn’t looking where I was going, must have had one too m–” Louis drew his gaze up, realizing it was the man from earlier. It took everything in him for his jaw not to drop to the floor.

“No, no, my apologies,” his arm shot out to steady Louis, “Are you alright?” Louis swallowed hard, clenching his jaw. From a distance, the man was attractive, but this close? He thought he might die.

With more clarity, he could see that the man’s shirt was slightly sheer, somewhat exposing a few choice tattoos on his chest. And the way the peach of his shirt and his dark curls made his green eyes pop... he was tall and fit and looked like he had been taken straight out of Disney’s Tarzan and all Louis wanted was to be his Jane.

“Uhm, yeah, I’m… I’m fine,” he stood there awkwardly for a moment.

_Okay, Louis, now go home_.

“Uh, let me get you a drink, what are you having?”

_What the fuck, that was the exact opposite of what you were supposed to say._

The man pursed his lips, not breaking eye contact with Louis, “Dirty martini,” he glanced over to the bar keeper, “and one more of whatever he’s having,” flashing a smile that could kill before returning his attention back to Louis.

All his years worth of hard cultivation of grace and poise, and it had taken him all of two seconds to make Louis a quivering child again.

They stood there silently for a few moments, Louis not making eye contact but fiddling with the cuff of his sleeve trying to figure out what to say, “Enjoying the night so far?” _even breaths, steady voice, perfect._

The bartender sat their drinks down in front of them respectively.

“Mmm, not my usual crowd,” he reached for the toothpick swimming in his martini and popped the first olive off with his teeth, not breaking eye contact. _Was that his natural lip color or..? Holy shit._

_Words, say words. Any words._

Louis willed himself to not be so affected by this stranger. “What? Not into the crowd of boring old knobs arguing politics and bragging about the new investments they’ve made?”

_Smooth, he had the situation under control. Definitely. He could do this._

“Mmmm, more like clients normally don’t feel comfortable taking me to these sort of events,” he looked out to the crowd of people, chewing the olive absentmindedly.

Louis sputtered a little behind his drink but tried to compose himself. He caught the man giving a small coy smile and glance as if he knew what kind of reaction he would get.

Louis placed the back of his palm against his mouth for a moment to collect himself, “Clients?” coughing slightly.

The man took another sip of his drink, unaffected, “I’m not your typical nine to five worker if that’s what you’re trying to ask.”

“So you’re like,” he fought to keep his voice steady as he lowered it, “what, a prostitute?” There was no way this guy was serious. What the fuck was he thinking approaching the fucking Prince of England at a charity gala? Was he out of his mind?

But the slightly more intoxicated part of Louis felt like he had just walked right into a porno of his own design and was ready for this man to take him right then and there. _Calm down._

He snorted, “God, don’t be so crass. Of course I’m not.” he looked slightly offended, eyebrows knitted as he watched Louis and sat his glass down on the bar, “I’m taking a bit of a break from Palace Noir tonight as a favor to a friend of mine.”

“The BDSM club?” Louis’ mouth rushed ahead of his brain and his jaw went slack in surprise at what he just said, “I-I mean–”

He raised his eyebrows, face lighting up in fascination, “Quite the knowledgeable one, aren’t we? Wouldn’t expect the Crown Prince of our fine nation to be familiar with our little establishment.”

“I mean– I haven’t actually ever been there or–” the drinks had definitely caught up with, and maybe even surpassed, him. Or maybe he was drunk off this gorgeous creature standing in front of him.

_Shut up, just shut up._

“I’m not into that kind of crowd.”

“‘That kind of crowd,’ hmm?” He propped his chin on his palm, giving Louis a once over, amused.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Louis held a hand up in front of himself. _God, he was making a mess of the situation_ – _where the fuck was Niall_ , “I meant–”

“You meant that you, England’s sweet little prince, can’t be seen in seedy joints like ours doing the unmentionable,” he held a steady gaze waiting for a reaction that Louis didn’t give him.

When he didn’t get the response he was hoping for, he leaned in closer to whisper in his ear, “You know what I think though?” he paused, placing a hand on Louis’ arm, “I think that you’re actually a kinky little thing,” his breath tickling Louis’ ear.

Louis’ entire face flushed and he swallowed hard in the back of his throat. He could feel his trousers starting to get tighter as he adjusted his stance slightly to hide how affected he was.

“Who… who the fuck are you,” was all Louis could string together once the man had pulled back.

He plucked the second olive off of the toothpick just as sinfully if not more so than the first one. Louis thought he was going to have to excuse himself before he got to the third olive. Otherwise, he would use his next meeting with the Prime Minister to exclusively discuss why they should pass a law to prohibit men this beautiful from eating olives so seductively.

“You know, I’m not one to typically make house calls but,” he paused, eyes giving Louis another once over, “I think I might be willing to make an exception.” _Those fucking dimples…_

He effortlessly retrieved a pen from the inside of his jacket and scrawled a string of numbers on a napkin before sliding it over to Louis.

“Maybe I’ll see you around, Your Majesty,” with a wink – _a fucking wink_ – he finished off his martini and sauntered off just as casually as he had arrived.

Louis didn’t move but looked down at the phone number with an ‘H’ and a little crown above it.

He wasn’t going to call him. There was no fucking way.


	2. 20 September 2017

20 September 2017 

In Louis’ defense, it took a full week before he finally caved. And then another full week before he actually worked up the courage to ring him. Still, he couldn’t keep his hands quite as steady as he would have liked as he dialed out the number.

One ring. _Shit, he should hang up, what was he thinking._

Two rings. _This was ridiculous, he should definitely hang up._

Thre– “Hello?” his voice was just as honeyed as Louis had remembered.

“Uhm, hi, this is Louis,” he paused, “Louis Tomlinson? We met a couple of weeks ago–” _like he wouldn’t remember meeting the fucking Prince of England._

“Ahh, I was starting to think you wouldn’t call. What can I do for you, Your Majesty?” there was an undertone of lust behind the playful way he posed the question.

“I thought about what you said and, uhm,” he took a moment to compose himself, “I was wondering if we could possibly set aside some time to talk a bit more?” Louis fidgeted in his seat. The silence that followed made every sensible part of him want to hang up the phone immediately and pretend that none of this ever happened. But something kept him waiting.

“Hmm,” another pause, “Well, I actually have an opening in a few hours. How does…. two o’clock sound?”

“Yeah,” he let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in, “I-I uhm could send a car for you?” Louis didn’t think this through at all now that he was actually trying to map it out, “My assistant can schedule you in, uhm, if, uh,” _stop sounding like such a spineless child._

“Sounds perfect,” he interjected before Louis could continue stuttering on, “I’ll be around Chelsea today, let me give you an address.”

Louis grabbed a pen and notepad off the desk and scribbled it down haphazardly and read it back to double check.

“So, here’s what I’m thinking... social activist wanting to urge a reform of the recycling initiative in London..?” he paused to give Louis a chance to catch up, “I mean, I’m sure you can’t sensibly be asking your PA to retrieve rentboys on your behalf...” Louis didn’t have to see him to know he had that toothy, shit-eating grin across his face.  

He snorted, “Good cover, I’ll make sure to pass the information onto my assistant,” a moment of silence followed and Louis fiddled with the pen in his hand, “Oh, also, I didn’t quite catch your name?”

“Mmmm, that’s because I didn’t give it,” he ribbed playfully, “You can call me Harry, though. I’ll see you at two, Your Highness,” and with that, he hung up.

 

. . .

 

In retrospect, Louis was nothing but grateful that he had pulled the ‘feeling ill’ card today to duck out of obligations with his father. The downside was now that he would have to backtrack with Niall to go retrieve Harry. Louis hastily began typing out a text to send off to him.

‘ _Hey, can you do me a favor ? :)_ ’

‘... _.. You do realize that’s my job, Louis haha._ _What’s up?_ ’

‘ _I need you to go pick up someone for me at 2:00 and bring them back here for a meeting._ ’

‘ _Thought the poor little prince was sick? :( Plus I don’t have anything scheduled for 2:00? Who is it?_ ’

How the fuck was he going to word this where it didn’t sound suspicious.

‘ _It’s… not really a formal meeting, more like a pre-meeting? I met him at the Acton Gala a few weeks back when you were in Brazil with Lots and I thought today would be a good day to have a quick meeting since I’m not chained to the king for the day :P_ ’

‘ _Aye-aye, Tommo ;) Do you want me to get someone to bring you up soup or anything?_ ’

‘ _Nah, I’m good, thanks though, mate <3 _’

 

. . .

 

A text notification popped up on the top of his screen, ‘ _Niall’s a chatty one_ – _I hope he doesn’t look into the statistics I’m giving him about our environmental impact as a country..._ ’

‘ _Trust me, he won’t - he’s always a bit too trusting, that lad haha_ ’ Louis typed out before sending it off.

He spent the next twenty minutes pacing around the room and wondering if maybe trackies weren’t the best option for what was supposed to be a proper meeting. After digging around for something else to wear for the occasion but never finding something that lent itself to ‘sitting down to discuss arrangements for a rentboy sneaking into the palace regularly’ he decided trackies would probably have to do.

Once Niall had notified him of Harry’s arrival, Louis gave himself one more look in the mirror, tousled his hair slightly, and headed down the hall to one of his private meeting rooms.

Hand on the doorknob, Louis did his best to breathe through the mounting anxiety growing his his chest. A big part of him was nervous about how far off the reserve he had managed to get himself.

What he was doing had the potential to be far more detrimental than his occasional hookups. He fought down the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that was filling to the brim with guilt. No one had to know – no one would know.

He had double and triple checked to make sure any and everyone who could potentially interrupt their meeting was as far away as possible.

It was fine - this was fine. Now or never.

Louis twisted the handle, stepped into the room, and secured the door behind himself, “Sorry about the wait, I had to take care of a few things,” he caught sight of Harry already seated at the small round table near the window.

Harry’s eyes darted up from the paperwork sprawled in front of him, “Ahh, no worries, just getting everything in order,” he tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear and sat back in the chair.

Louis narrowed his eyes as he approached, a bit confused by the stark contrast between the flamboyantly dressed, overly confident man he had met previously and the man sitting in front of him now, “I didn’t realize you wore glasses.”

“Oh,” Harry adjusted them on his nose, “Do you like them? I thought they made me look more the part – the hair as well,” he pinched the disheveled bun resting on the top of his head.

Louis gave him a once over and took a seat the chair beside his, “You really went all out – even the clothes,” he gestured to the ill-fitting patterned shirt hanging off of Harry’s frame secured in place by only the bottom three buttons, “kind of like a whole ‘American dad’ vibe going on with the button-up. I’m impressed.”

“Oh,” Harry furrowed his eyebrows and pinched the collar of his shirt, looking down, “Well, this actually wasn’t part of the disguise but…” he shook it off immediately and Louis could feel his own face growing red in embarrassment.

“Anyways, uhm, down to business – this is for you,” he cleared his throat and placed a few stacks of papers in front of Louis, “Before getting into specifics, I have a few things to go over with you first to make sure my services align with what you’re looking for. As a general rule, I don’t engage in anything involving blood or permanent markings, brandings, cutting, piercings, etcetera,” he named them off on his fingers as he spoke, unaffected, as if he had done the same speech a thousand times over.

“Additionally, watersports and anything of that nature are not my area of expertise. Weapons, guns and knives, are off limits. And, in this particular arrangement, I’m not willing to involve any other participants in our scenes, I assume you’re aware of how this could affect both of us if someone were to talk. You have a kingdom to rule and I have a business to run. Discretion is key and I can promise you I want my privacy just as much if not more so than you do.”

Louis nodded in agreeance, watching Harry flip open a packet, finger tracking the text as he spoke, “Along that vein, photos, videos, or recordings of any kind won’t be allowed. If any of those things are a deal breaker for you, I know other Doms that are more lenient that I would be willing to set you up with. Any questions so far?” Harry looked up over the rim of his glasses.

“Uhm, not as of yet, no,” Louis’ could feel his head starting to swim at the extent of how thorough Harry was being. If he was being candid, the last thing he had expected was, well, this.

Harry nodded and turned the page over, pointing to some print, “Any accessories that you’re interested in, be it collars, lingerie, what have you, I can provide at an additional cost. All of that is lined out in here for you in addition to my rates, NDAs, and the like so feel free to look back over it later.” He flipped the packet closed and slid it over to Louis before pulling out another, “You haven’t done any sort of BDSM before, correct?”

“Uhm, no, I haven’t,” Louis wrang his hands in his lap and adjusting a bit. He was starting to feel a little anxious and self conscious.

“Okay well, this is a handout that talks about some of the important safety things I like to go over with my submissives before we start playing together. Things like safe words, communication, and aftercare. I’ll leave this with you, too. If after you think about it for a few days and still aren’t sure exactly what sort of aftercare you think would be best for you, we can work at it as we go. We just need to keep open communication and honesty between one another.” Harry slid his glasses up to rest atop his head and leaned back in the chair, letting out a sigh.

“Sorry, this is a lot of paperwork and can be super overwhelming,” Harry rubbed the bridge of his nose, “I know it’s quite a bit to think over but I just want to make sure we have all of our bases covered. You understand, right?”

Louis nodded, “I mean, I understand for sure, but definitely…” he trailed off, eyes looking between the different pages sprawled out in front of him.

“I want to give you some time to look over all of this and fill out the negotiations I gave you so I can have a clearer understanding of what you’re looking for... In all honesty, I haven’t played with many new submissives – especially not in this capacity – so I feel like it’s super vital to be as detail oriented as we can and start out slow.

“The number one thing you need to take away from all of this though is that you need to maintain open communication and let me know exactly how you’re feeling at any given point. This is more than just a casual hookup and it’s crucial that you are comfortable with what is happening. At the end of the day, this is a relationship of sorts. But, as it’s easy for lines to get blurred with new partners, I must say up front that under no circumstances should you ask about my other clients or jobs. In return, I won’t inquire about what really happened to the Lost Colony of Roanoke. Confidentiality is very important to me and I cannot play with anyone who does not respect that.”

“For sure,” Louis let out a dry laugh and nodded in understanding, doing his best to retrace everything Harry had said, “I didn’t realize how, uh… involved? the whole process is. It’s definitely a lot to take in and I’m probably going to need a bit of time to go over everything…” he arranged the papers and pamphlets in a neat pile.

“Like I said, take some time, think it over. And if you look through everything and decide that you aren’t interested or if you want me to set you up with someone else,” Harry held his hands up casually in surrender, “I promise not to take it personally. Ultimately it’s your call what you’re most comfortable with.”

“No, uh, I think you’re probably a good fit,” Louis returned his hands to his lap glancing to meet Harry’s gaze, “I mean, I don’t really think that I would want you to find someone else. I just maybe need some time to, uhm, think about…” he trailed off as his focus drifted from Harry to the window behind him.

“All of those princely kinks of yours, yeah?” Harry finished nonchalantly as if it was the most natural thing in the world but Louis could feel his face growing red in embarrassment.

“Uhm, yeah,” he looked down, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“That’s all the paperwork I have for you today but if this is something you’re pretty set on, do you want to have a little warm-up... a practice of sorts? I still have…” he checked his watch, “a few more minutes? You seem a little hesitant and I assume it’s probably just nerves, but I feel like you might feel a bit better about all of this and enjoy yourself more down the line if we get more acquainted with each other. No pressure or anything, obviously, I just wanted to give you the option if you’re ready.”

And, fuck, Louis had been ready to get his hands on Harry since he had seen him at that gala a fortnight ago.

“Yes,” he returned eye contact sounding possibly a bit too eager, “I think that, uh, that would be a good idea,” toning down the enthusiasm laced in his voice, “Just, you know, so next time isn’t like the first time?” Louis babbled on, growing even more flustered as he tried to collect himself.

Harry grasped his hand in an attempt to settle him somewhat, “Come here,” he sat on the edge of his seat and guided Louis to stand in front of him.

“I-in here?” Louis could feel his hands shaking and prayed he didn’t look as terrified as he felt.

“Is that okay?” Harry asked to no real ends as Louis was already moving to climb into his lap, placing his hands gently on his chest to steady himself.

“Y-yeah,” Louis froze and let his gaze fall on the sparrows tattooed across his chest. Harry reached between them to lift Louis hand, placing tender kisses along his knuckles, drawing his gaze up in the process.

“Whenever you’re ready, little prince,” Harry murmured, eyes trained on him as he trailed a hand down Louis’ bicep.

“Can I…” Louis hesitated for a fraction of a second, feeling his face beginning to burn, before leaning in slightly with parted lips as if asking for permission. Harry’s hands came to rest along the sides of his neck, closing the rest of the distance.

Chaste kisses slowly grew a bit more needy as Louis pressed his front into Harry and tangled his fingers into his makeshift bun, tousling it even more.

Eventually Harry’s hands made their way down his sides before finding leverage gripping his arse making Louis pliant under his command.

Louis moaned at the touch, feeling himself start to get hard against Harry’s thigh quite unapologetically. He was fairly certain Harry was all too aware by the way he adjusted his leg to establish some friction and tightened his grasp on his bum.

“Ahh–” his breath hitched and unsteady hands came to rest once again on Harry’s chest, back arching slightly until the reverberating sound of a mobile broke Louis’ daze.

“Mmm,” Harry drew back slightly, and dug around to pull his phone from his pocket, “Looks like time’s up, little one,” he patted Louis’ side genially.

“O-Oh, uhm,” Louis scrambled to dismount Harry’s lap in a bit of a stupor, adjusting his clothing and standing a few feet away. His ears were burning and he could feel his dick making itself known through the thin fabric of his sweats.

Harry rose and closed the distance between them, tilting Louis’ chin upward, “You don’t have to be scared of me, I don’t bite,” he smirked, leaving a kiss on the corner of his mouth, “That is, unless you want me to.”

 

. . .

 

A few days passed before Harry’s next visit to look over the interest survey with Louis to make sure he understood exactly what to expect. Harry had done his best to reassure him through the process. In the end, it had only left Louis slightly mortified.

He had given Louis specific instructions that he was not to touch himself before their first scene and somehow he had managed to last the full five days. Surprisingly, it hadn’t been as taxing as he thought it would be but receiving a text the morning directing him to wear a butt plug Harry had left for him almost broke him.

Almost.

In the end, Louis thought he probably made the Swedish Ambassador a bit uneasy from all the constant shifting and resettling in his chair and the beads of sweat he had felt collecting on his temple. But outside of the very awkward meeting, he was fairly certain no one had caught on or spotted the semi he’d been sporting since 8:00 AM.

At this point he was past horny as fuck and thought there was a strong possibility he would come the moment Harry laid a hand on him.

“I want you to make sure to use your safewords if you’re uncomfortable, okay, darling?” Harry ran his hands down Louis’ sides leaving a few choice kisses along his shoulder blades.

“Okay,” Louis responded in a soft voice, nerves still not quite in check. This was far from his first time being with another man yet something about standing completely starkers in front of Harry like this sent a spark of adrenaline through his veins. Louis inhaled deeply trying to focus in on Harry’s touch to ground himself.

“If you need me to slow down?” his hands settled on Louis’ bare hips massaging small circles with his thumbs.

“Yellow.”

“And if you need me to stop?” Harry’s breath tickled his ear as Louis angled his head to expose more of his neck for him to explore.

“Red–” he inhaled sharply.

“Good boy, so good for me,” his hand reached around to fasten a silk blindfold in place, “Are you ready?” Harry kept his tone even and calming, waiting for Louis to respond.

He swallowed dryly and gave a small nod, “Yeah.”

The next thing Louis knew, a swift smack landed hard on his arse and he let out a yelp.

“Hands and knees on the bed, now, don’t make me tell you again.”

Louis did as he was told without a fuss, spreading his legs.

“Mmm, I see you put the plug in like I told you,” Harry pushed his thumb against it with enough force to get a reaction from Louis, “Such a good listener, aren’t you,” he crawled into the space between Louis’ spread legs, making slow work of withdrawing the toy.

“Ahh,” Louis let out a breathy gasp at the sudden emptiness.

Harry promptly filled him with one finger and then two, scissoring slightly. Louis adjusted, falling on his forearms to keep himself steady. Without thinking, he reached for his already erect cock stroking a few times before another blow landed on his arse causing him to flinch and withdraw his hand.

“I don’t think I said you could touch yourself now, did I?” Harry bit back pushing his still buried fingers harshly against his prostate, “Actually, I told you the exact opposite.”

“Fuck,” Louis whined, legs shaking slightly, “I didn’t– I haven’t I swear.”

“Think I might have to tie those lovely hands. Don’t think I can trust a little slag like you,” Harry scolded, removing his fingers. Louis felt the bed shift as Harry stood.

“Be quiet and don’t fucking move,” his words had a sting to them that somehow did nothing but send a wave of arousal through Louis straight to his already throbbing dick. Heart racing in anticipation as he waited for Harry to return, he clenched his fists in the sheets, fighting the urge to touch himself.

Harry climbed back onto the bed, placing a knee on either side of Louis’ legs and rather forcefully securing his forearms together behind his back, “Thought you would have realized by now that I’m the only one allowed to touch this body. It doesn’t fucking belong to you,” forcing Louis over onto his back in one quick motion.

“So let’s just make some things crystal clear,” Harry leaned down over Louis’ shaking figure, one hand coming to rest on his chest, “You don’t get to touch yourself…” his other hand snaked its way behind Louis’ balls, “.. and you will be punished if you speak without being prompted.” He prodded at Louis’ hole, drawing the most sinful, needy noises from the back of Louis’ throat as he squirmed against the restraints.

And, fuck, Louis thought he was going to come right then and there, “H-Harry,” he whined which did nothing but cause Harry to pull out completely leaving tears forming behind the blindfold, “Please, no, please touch me, I-I’m sorry, please–”

“What the fuck did I just tell you,” Harry splayed his palms on the inside of Louis’ thighs, applying enough pressure to spread his legs further apart, “I don’t think you deserve anything at this point,” grabbing Louis’ balls tugging enough to cause Louis to writhe even moreso, letting out a stifled whine. Harry leaned in, nibbling and biting purposefully on his inner thigh leaving a string of darkening bruises.

Louis thrusted up slightly in an attempt to chase the contact, hopeful for some stimulation on his all but abandoned cock, in the process rutting himself against Harry’s cheek.

Harry recoiled, gripping Louis’ hips firmly, “Oh, honey…” he hissed, “that wasn’t very nice of you…” he tightened his grip, fingers digging into the fleshy side of his bum. Louis whimpered, trying to break free, “You definitely haven’t deserved anything yet, maybe I should just leave you here until you’re ready to listen.”

Louis stilled slightly and swallowed hard, as he felt the bed move under him, “Wait, uhm…” there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice, “Y-yellow… also the blindfold…” he couldn’t help but think that he probably had just ruined the whole scene but Harry seemed to understand and settled back down on the bed removing the blindfold.

“I think I might just have to punish you then,” he responded simply.

And, fuck. Louis nodded eagerly, sweat-soaked fringe clinging to his forehead. “Please,” he croaked.

“Please what, sweetheart?”

Louis paused trying to work up the courage to ask, “Please punish me,” something inside Louis pushed to the surface.

Harry shifted him back onto his front, arse in the air and face settling into the pillows.

“You aren’t allowed to come until I tell you, do you understand?” Harry asked, uncapping a bottle of lube behind him.

“Yes,” a firm smack landing on his arse, “Yes s-sir,” he answered feeling Harry squeeze a generous amount of lube over his hole. He worked him over a bit more before teasing his rim with what felt to be a toy a bit bigger than the plug he’d had in previously. Twisting it slightly, he pushed the full length into him, drawing a strangled breath from Louis as he squirmed to adjust.

He worked it in and out a few times, faintly hitting his prostate, Louis grunting in time with each thrust. After a moment Harry flipped a switch causing the toy to start pulsating rhythmically inside him.

“F-fucking shit...” Louis cried, arching his back, body shaking. Everytime he neared his breaking point, Harry would switch it off without warning or change the speed.

“H-Harry, please,” Louis begged, attempting to rut himself against the sheets to no avail against Harry’s grasp, “I’m gonna come– Harry,” he choked, legs trembling at the over stimulation.

“No, you won’t, because that would make me very unhappy with you,” Harry maneuvered Louis into a seated position on top of his own knees and ran his hands up and down Louis’ thighs.

The slight switch in position caused the vibrator to catch right against Louis’ prostate, hammering away as Louis fought off his oncoming orgasm, “Harry I can’t I’m… I’m gonna come I can’t…” he pleaded, body quivering as his arse clenched around the toy.

Harry finally reached between Louis’ legs, tugging at his balls slightly, “Not yet, I haven’t given you permission,” he nipped behind his ear before taking Louis’ full length into his palm with long, even strokes before upping the tempo.

“Fuck– Harry!” He nearly screamed, bucking up into his fist, “I’m–”

“Come for me, baby,” Harry whispered against Louis’ back and immediately he was spilling over Harry’s fist and his own stomach with labored sobs and a string of choice curses.

“So good for me,” Harry peppered his shoulders in kisses, making quick work of flipping the vibrator off and rolling Louis into a more comfortable position to remove the restraints.

Louis laid there on his back, dazed and confused, staring up at the ceiling with labored breaths, tears still peaking over the brim of his eyes. Part of him registered in the back of his mind Harry’s hand carding through his hair but that did nothing but lull him to sleep.

 

. . .

 

When he finally awoke, Louis wasn’t quite sure how much time had passed, just that it was already dark outside and his arse was on fire. He blinked awake, glancing over to his clock and, shit, 9:33 pm.

Well, definitely missed dinner with his great aunt and uncle.

He reached over to turn the light on top of the night stand and glanced around the empty room. No Harry. But after all these hours, of course he was gone.

Louis threw his feet over the side of the bed and walked over to see a note sitting on his desk.

_‘Didn’t want to wake you. Stayed as late as I could. I left a bottle of water for you on the nightstand, text me when you wake up and we can talk about everything. - H x’_

Louis smiled slightly, looking over at the water bottle. He could get used to this.


	3. 06 November 2017

06 November 2017

Harry sunk his teeth into the fleshy part of Louis’ hip, making sure to leave a mark, “Are you going to come for me, my little prince?” he crooked his fingers drawing a breathy moan out of Louis.

“Fuck, Harry, please,” he could feel beads of sweat collecting near his temple as his dick lay abandoned against his stomach, Harry’s burrowed fingers stilled deep inside him. Louis pulled slightly against the restraints holding his wrists in place. It felt like he had been a step away from the edge for an eternity now and he could sense how much Harry was thoroughly enjoying keeping him there.

“Please what?” Harry asked in a lowered tone of voice before trailing his tongue behind Louis’ balls, moaning and paying each one careful consideration. Louis’ breath hitched in time with his back arching off the bed. “I want you to beg for it, show me how much you want it,” Harry pulled his fingers back slightly before slamming them in again.

Louis cried out in response, tears finally spilling down the sides of his face. His thighs shook as he dug his heels into the bed, chest heaving exceptionally, “Harry,” he let out a choked sob, feeling Harry’s unoccupied hand settling on his stomach in an attempt to calm him. 

A few moments passed with nothing but the sound of their uneven breaths hanging in the air between them. Louis’ body and mind settling to some degree with the touch. 

“Color, Louis,” he could hear Harry’s voice echoing softly somewhere beyond the high of the moment but he couldn’t quite form the words he needed to get across. He blinked away tears, eyes cast on the ceiling as he started slipping deeper into his own mind. He vaguely registered Harry’s hand travel from his stomach to his hip, giving it a slight squeeze, “Lou, do you need me to – ”

“Green…” he managed, voice hoarse, “Green, Harry – fuck, please,” Louis’ body lurching back to life, attempting to push himself impossibly further down on Harry’s fingers. He squirmed, straining against the cuffs, catching Harry’s gaze briefly, “I-I want to come for you,” Louis swallowed, “Please… please let me come for you.”

He watched as Harry hesitated for a moment, eyes fixated on where Louis ended and he began. Louis let his head drop back onto the pillows behind him and Harry made quick work of fucking his fingers in and out of Louis’ arse at the perfect angle to coax the most lustful, needy noises from him. 

“Come on, baby,” Harry ran his tongue over Louis’ balls once more following through with the underside of his cock, tipping Louis’ over the edge spilling hot over his stomach with a string of whimpers and curses.

Once Louis started to come down, Harry removed his fingers, leaving a few soft kisses on the inside of his thighs, “So beautiful for me, aren’t you,” he worked his way up above Louis’ head and untied his restraints. 

“C’mere,” Harry coaxed him closer to rest on his chest and running his fingers through Louis’ hair. 

“How are you feeling? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you come that hard,” he spoke up after a moment.

Louis didn’t speak, just nodded, fucked out beyond belief, breath still slightly ragged, “Can we, uhm, just kind of lay here for a minute? I’m not ready to move yet,” he placed a hand on Harry’s stomach to ground himself. The entirety of his body was covered in a thin layer of sweat with the smell of sex lingering through the room. Louis took a deep breath, trying to find his bearings as he let his head settle into the crook of Harry’s arm, “I mean – I don’t think I  _ can _ move yet.”

Harry laughed, “I guess I’ve got a bit of time to spare,” he retrieved a bottle of water from the nightstand and took a swig, “It’s not like the Prince of England is waiting for me or anything.”

Louis snorted, swatting him lightly, “Shut up, I swear you’re such a fucking twat.” 

“Mmmm, someone’s being a bit bratty and demanding today…” he pinched the side of Louis’ bum, making him jerk slightly. 

“Fuck off,” Louis squirmed in retaliation wrapping himself around Harry’s side without a second thought. 

The way Harry ran his hand up and down his back made him want to fall asleep right there, “At least sit up some so you can get some water in you. I have a feeling you’re probably incredibly dehydrated at this point,” he handed the water bottle to Louis before climbing off the end of the bed and started picking up his own articles of clothing off the floor. 

God, he was gorgeous. All muscle and tanned skin, painted in more tattoos than Louis could probably ever bring himself to count.

He downed half the bottle of water, watching Harry move around the room in only a pair of boxer briefs - full erection still glaringly obvious, “Hey, uh, Harry?” 

“Hmm?” Harry placing his clothes on the table and turning to face Louis, “Do you need me to get you something?” he crossed the room to stand at the foot of the bed.

“No but,” Louis moved from his spot with only slight difficulty and crawled to the end of the bed letting his feet dangle on either side of Harry’s still standing figure. He grasped Harry’s hips tightly, not breaking eye contact, “It’s your turn.”

Harry, clearly caught off guard gripped Louis’ wrist firmly, “Louis I don’t…” he trailed off as Louis slid his thumbs under the elastic band of his pants, pushing them down enough to reveal the head of his cock. He hissed slightly at Louis welcoming him into his mouth reverently.

Harry’s knees buckled, hands landing on Louis’ shoulder to steady himself. “Louis…” he dropped his head forward, breath hitching as his dick disappeared further down Louis’ throat with a muffled moan from both of them. 

Louis withdrew with a pop, running his nose against Harry’s belly, “Can’t we play a little bit longer?” looking up at him enticingly, “I’ll be good for you, I promise.”

Harry took a deep breath, eyes closed and chin resting against his chest. He was utterly unreadable in every sense and it was driving Louis insane. 

After a minute Harry lifted his eyes enough to look at Louis staring back at him eagerly, dick twitching in interest but his expression said otherwise. His hands squeezed Louis’ shoulders for a second before coming to cradle his face, one hand pushing still damp fringe from his eyes.

“That’s going to cost you little extra, darling, I just don’t know if you can afford that,” a small smirk playing across his lips, “Maybe you can look at your finances and see if you find the money lying around. I don’t have the time today, though  – other obligations to attend to  – you know the drill,” he patted Louis’ face gingerly. 

“Plus, I’m sure Your Majesty has plenty to attend to as well and currently he smells like shit,” Harry pulled a goofy dimpled smile that ruined the mood and, if Louis was quite honest, was too childish for someone his age.

“You never let me get you off,” he stuck his bottom lip out in protest, pushing Harry away by the hips, “Plus, you smell just as bad.” 

“Maybe next time,” Harry finished compiling all of the clothing off the floor, “I’ll send you my rates and you can let me know,” he fished some clean clothes out of his bag. “In the meantime, I’m going to take a shower so I don’t lose any of my other clients for the day by showing up smelling like I just swam in a pile of garbage. You’re welcome to join me but don’t feel obligated,” he finished in a singsong voice.

A twinge of jealousy prodded at Louis’ insides as Harry disappeared into the en suite. “Pretty sure that’s my bathroom so not sure why you’re the one inviting me,” he muttered under his breath and grabbed a clean pair of trackies and a t-shirt from a drawer. 

“So what time  _ is _ your next meeting?” Louis quizzed as he stepped into the shower after Harry. 

_ It wasn’t jealousy, it was just curiosity  _ – _ making small talk. Friends, or well, colleagues, talk about their jobs with each other, right? Or maybe _ –

“Six o’clock,” Harry answered simply, reaching for the shampoo to lather his hair.

“How many clients do you have?” Louis pushed, taking the shampoo bottle from Harry to wash his own hair.

Harry paused, catching Louis’ eyes and knitting his eyebrows together, “Why, Louis?” 

“Nothing,” Louis shook his head slightly looking at the shower wall behind Harry and taking a moment, “just making small talk I guess, you don’t ever mention your other clients and I guess sometimes I forget there is anyone else.”

Harry pursed his lips, watching Louis intently, “I’m sorry I brought it up, it was a slip of tongue. I think we should probably drop the topic, though,” he stepped into the spray to let the water rinse the shampoo from his hair, “How was that scene for you?” Harry followed up quickly to change the subject.

“Uhm, good, yeah. Really good,” Louis did his best to follow the conversation and not linger on the thought of Harry potentially getting some other bloke off later in the night, “I really liked everything you did with the ice and the clamps near the beginning.” 

“I know you had mentioned before maybe trying something with lingerie? Is that still something you would be interested in?”

Louis nodded earnestly, “Actually yeah, I was going to talk to you about that and maybe even trying a collar next time? I think that might be fun. If that’s okay?”

“Look at you, little sub coming into his own,” Harry ran his hand through Louis’ wet hair, making him cringe slightly, “Of course, I’ve actually had some really beautiful baby blue lingerie and collar sitting around with your name on it for quite some time.”

Surprise lit up Louis’ face, “Really? For me specifically?” 

“I mean- not in a weird way or anything. But I buy things custom for the person and, well, when I saw it it just screamed ‘Louis’. I didn’t know if you would decide you wanted to dabble in lingerie so I didn’t want to push the topic but of course I was hoping you would ask about it so it wouldn’t go to waste.”

“Oh, well, thanks,” Louis looked down shyly, “I do have one more request if that’s alright,” Harry quirked an eyebrow expectantly, “I hope it’s not too odd or anything but can you use more possessive names?” he looked up through his eyelashes at Harry. 

“I know you do that already but it, uh, it really gets me off, especially when you use affectionate ones,” For the sake of not pushing his limits, he decided to omit the ‘and it helps me forget that I’m not your only playmate’ part, “Would that be okay?”

A fleeting look of amusement flashed across Harry’s face before growing soft, “Yeah, of course, not an odd request in the least.”

Louis was flooded with a sense of relief, giving a little nod, “Thanks. Uhm, could you hand me the body wash behind you?” 

“This one?” he asked, popping the bottle and squirting some into his hand, “Give me your arm.” 

Louis did as he was told, reaching one arm out as Harry massaged his way up one arm, then the next and started in on his shoulders and chest. Body growing pliant under his touch, Louis could feel his face on fire and a small spark of arousal growing in the center of his stomach. 

Harry continued rubbing his way down Louis’ body, only speaking up when he got to his hips, “Turn around for me, love,” he obeyed without hesitation, leaning into the touch. No doubt by now Louis was starting to get hard again but if Harry noticed, which, of course he did, he paid it no mind.

Before Louis had a chance to react, Harry’s lips were pressed behind his ear, “I’ve got to take really good care of my favorite little prince after all  – don’t want him thinking he can run off to someone else.”

“Mh,” something like a mewl escaped Louis’ lips, all blood rushing south immediately. Maybe Harry would stay and play a little longer after all. And then maybe Louis could finally have a chance to make Harry fall apart for him for a change.

Harry nipped at his earlobe, “You’ll be good for me, won’t you? Do anything I ask, yeah?”

“Yes,” Louis said breathily, tilting his head to expose more of his neck to Harry.

“Good,” Harry ran his nose down Louis’ neck and bit into his collarbone playfully, “Rinse off and get dressed, you have a meeting to get to, Your Majesty.” 

The next thing Louis knew, he was standing alone in the shower with a leaking cock screaming for sweet release, “Fucking tease,” he groaned and tried to make quick work of his now not-so-little problem.

 

. . .

 

After Louis had finished toweling off, Harry was gone and in his place was a small package sitting atop his freshly made bed. 

‘ _ Try it on for me, would you? - H x _ ’ scrawled in the most gorgeous script.

He carefully opened the box to reveal a lacy, sheer pair of baby blue panties accompanied by a matching leather collar with a small bell on front, “Fuck,” Louis whispered, searching through the rest of the tissue paper to reveal a pair of ornate silk cuffs that had small chains running up to attach to the collar. Goddamn, this was right up Louis’ alley. Harry really was too good to him.

A knock on the door startled him back to reality, “Louis?”  _ Niall, fuck. _

“Uh, yeah, hold on a minute,” he forced the ensemble back into the box and shoved it under the bed hastily before pulling on a pair of pants and an old sweatshirt.

Barely avoiding tripping over his own feet, he closed the space between himself and the door, swinging it open to reveal a startled Niall. 

“Jeez, you nearly gave me a heart attack with how fast you opened the door, Lou,” he gripped his chest dramatically before maneuvering his way past Louis into the room.

Louis rolled his eyes, closing the door after Niall, “I know we’re flying out tonight, you don’t need to come supervise I’ll be ready I promise,” he grumbled under his breath.

“No uh,” Niall rubbed his arm, eyes trained on the ceiling, “Your dad wants to talk to you and…”

“And..?” Louis furrowed his eyebrows, looking at him expectantly, “And what?”

“...and he seems pretty upset that you bailed on lunch with the Prime Minister today,” Niall said sheepishly and plopped down in one of the chairs by the window keeping his attention fixed on Louis.

“But I – ” Louis started in but Niall held his hands up in surrender.

“I know, I told them you were feeling poorly – I’m just passing the information along,” he put his hands back in his lap, “Can I take a step back from ‘professional prince patrol’ for a second?”

Louis swallowed and nodded, taking a seat at the end of the bed.

“You’ve been ducking out of so many things the past few months and your parents are getting suspicious and irritated with not just you but me as well. 

“I know that all of the pomp and circumstance isn’t really your cup of tea. I’m pretty sure everyone senses that but,” he sighed, “The way I see it you have two options. One, you stop sneaking around doing whatever it is you’re doing and fall in line with your father’s wishes. Or two, it might be time for you to tell him that you want the crown to go to one of your sisters.” 

Louis groaned, collapsing onto the bed. He knew this was coming - he knew this was what he had needed to do even before Harry came along but now? It was even more imperative probably. 

Niall let the last sentence hang in the air before tacking on, “This is all off the record, obviously, I don’t want your dad to fire me.”

“My dad would never fire you, I think he probably likes you more than me most of the time... all responsible and shit,” his forearms draped over his face muffled his words slightly, “I’m sorry I’ve been making things so hard on you recently.”

“Recently?” Niall scoffed, “Louis, you remember how when we were eight and you broke your mom’s vase that was given to her by the Duchess of Wales and you convinced me to take the blame? Mate, you’ve always been difficult, don’t try to act like this is a recent development.”

Louis smiled leaving his arms in place, “Uhh, that’s not how I remember that happening, ‘m pretty sure it broke after you told me I was too much of a sissy to play footie in the banquet hall and by that point I had to do it.”

“So at the end of the day, it was you that kicked the football so I think I should be free of all blame,” Niall gave a toothy laugh, “Regardless, though, we’re friends first and foremost. I’m on your side - don’t forget that, yeah?” he stood and crossed the room, landing on his back next to Louis.

“You don’t have to give me the specifics of all your secret escapades and what-have-yous, but if you need me to cover for you or like, you just need to talk…” Niall trailed off, keeping eyes steady on the ceiling. 

Louis rolled to face Niall, hugging his arm, “Thanks, Niel, really,” he planted a sloppy wet kiss on his cheek.

“Ugh, gross, Louiiiis,” He wiggled away, pushing Louis off of him, “There you go making me be all warm and fuzzy,” Niall sat up and gave a final pat on Louis’ thigh, “Go talk to your dad, yeah? I’m going to finish packing your stuff up for tonight.”

Louis reluctantly sat up and sighed dramatically, “Okay, wish me luck.” 

 

. . .

 

“Uhm,” Louis poked his head through the door, seeing his father sitting at a desk in the center of the room, “You wanted to see me, sir?” he had reserved nothing but formalities with him as long as he could remember.

“Yes, Louis, come in and close the door, please.” Louis did as he was told, taking a seat hesitantly in front of the desk. Talking with one’s father should not be this nerve racking, “Where were you today?”

“I wasn’t feeling well so I, uh, I slept in,” Louis fidgeted with his hands in his lap trying to keep a steady tone.

“Just like the meeting with Germany’s Head of State on Tuesday and the luncheon last week and all of the meetings you’ve missed over the past two months,” for as calm of a voice he was keeping, there definitely was a pointedness to his words.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t felt like myself recently I think maybe – ”

“Save me the excuses, Louis,” he interrupted, voice lifting slightly in volume, “You can’t keep picking and choosing what parts of your duty to participate in, this is highly unprofessional and you’re causing not only this family anxiety but also our citizens anxiety over what kind of ruler you’re going to be.”

“I – ” Louis was taken slightly aback at the harshness of his words. It wasn’t anything Louis hadn’t been thinking himself but the fact that his father was being so blunt about it stung a bit more than the voices in the back of his mind.

He dropped his gaze to his lap, fiddling with his hands, “I don’t want this,” he spoke up timidly.

“Don’t want what, Louis?” as calm and even as ever. A stint of silence lingering in the space between them for a moment.

“I don’t want this... any of this,” Louis chewed on the inside of his lip, “To be king I…” he shook his head adamantly and looked back up, “It’s not me, I don’t want this, let Fizzy take my place  – she’s a natural leader, she wants this way more than I do.”

“You’re the first born, Louis, this is your birthright!” he finally raised his voice, pounding his fist slightly on the desk and making Louis jump.

“Why is it so important to you that it’s me?” Louis shot back, he could feel his eyes starting to burn as he swallowed past the lump in his throat.

The king took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Louis,” he paused, trying to collect himself, “We’ve been grooming you since you were little for this - it is your job whether you like it or not. What are people going to say? What are they going to think when they’ve been looking to you as their next leader for over 20 years and now, what?” he gestured wildly, voice still louder than necessary. 

“I don’t fucking care!” Louis finally came to full stance, hands gripping the front of the desk, “I’m not happy  – I’ve never been happy having to try to fill your shoes. Doesn’t that matter to you? Shouldn’t that be more important?” 

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Louis, I never said that. Your country needs you, if something happens to me, you’re the only one who is ready to step up,” he gave no sign of backing down or showing any remorse.

“But I’m not, aren’t you listening to me?!” Louis pleaded as tears peaked over the corner of his eyes, “I’m not ready for this I can’t…. I can’t do this. I’m not like you.” he wanted to scream and fight and pull out his own hair until someone finally listened to him. Instead he stood there, gaze locked with his father, a few stray tears cascading down his cheeks. 

The silence that fell was more daunting than anything Louis could have ever anticipated but somewhere, way deep down inside of him, he had a small seed of hope that maybe, just maybe, he could finally get through to his father. He tried to compose himself, hands still steadying himself on the old wooden furniture. 

One time, just once, he prayed his father would understand - sympathize with him. Maybe drop his pride and think logically and reconsider.

“Louis, stop acting like such a spoilt child,” his words cut right through Louis making him involuntarily start to shake, “Get changed, we have a flight in 20 minutes to catch to Geneva,” his father rose to leave the room, walking straight past Louis. 

“No.”

He stopped in place, turning to face Louis’ back, “I’m sorry, did you just tell me ‘no’?”

“I’m done, I’m not doing this anymore. Not on your terms. Disown me, do whatever you have to do but I refuse,” Louis pushed past him and opened the door to leave.

“You’re a disgrace to this family and our country, our people will never look up to you,” the king’s words biting at Louis’ heels as he slammed the door behind himself and fought to get as far away from him as possible. 

Louis stopped once he had made it down a unoccupied corridor and leaned against the wall, digging the palms of his hands into his eyes in an attempt to stop the tears. He doubled over and sunk down to the floor, chest heaving through choked sobs fighting for breath. Everything inside him felt like it was simultaneously on fire and crumbling under the weight of guilt and anxiety and other emotions he couldn’t even find the words for.

But his mind just kept going back to one place  – Harry. Just Harry.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled down until he saw his name and dialed, raising the phone to his ear. He was hoping, praying, he would answer. 

A few rings gave him the chance to collect himself a bit.

“Louis?” he sounded just as confused as Louis felt. 

“Uhm,” Louis cleared his throat, trying to not sound so congested, “Harry, can you… can you come over? I know you have a meeting tonight but,” he rubbed his eye with his free hand, “I’ll pay you double... triple, whatever I just – ”

“Louis, are you alright? What’s wrong?” genuine concern washing over his voice. 

“I just need you to come over tonight,” he bit into his bottom lip trying with all his might to compose himself, “Please.”

Louis waited for a response - there was no way he could possibly handle Harry abandoning him at this point on top of everything else.

“Of course, Lou, I’ll be there in thirty minutes, okay?” Louis could hear rustling in the background, “Do you need me to stay on the phone with you while I drive over?” 

Louis let out the breath he’d been holding, “No, that’s fine just if you could take the back way I showed you to my room? I’ll meet you up there.”

“Will do, just… relax, okay? I’ll be over there as soon as I can. Ring me if you need to.”

 

. . .

 

Louis spent the next thirty minutes sitting on the bathroom counter looking himself over in the mirror and willing himself to keep it together. 

Harry was coming over. Harry could make him feel good. 

He wrung his hands in his lap and took a deep breath. Just let go, relax. What’s the point in worrying about things out of his control at this point? The damage was done and now all that was left was for the dust to settle. 

He ran his hands over his face one last time, the only hints of his breakdown being his slightly puffy face that Louis hoped wasn’t too noticeable. 

“Louis?” he heard the door to his bedroom open and close with the arrival of Harry. Louis climbed down from the countertop and opened the door to the bedroom.

“Are you alright?” Louis closed the space between them suddenly, “You sounded upset on the phone did – ” Harry was quickly silenced by Louis pushing him down in a seated position on the bed, straddling his lap, and stripping his own shirt off in one swift movement. “Lou-”

“Shut up,” Louis’ hands gripped Harry’s shoulders as he connected their lips in a rushed clashing of lips and teeth.

After a moment, the initial stiffness in Harry’s posture softened and he leaned into the kiss, mimicking the starved way Louis was lusting after his touch. His hands found a place to rest on Louis’ hips, digging in his fingers slightly.  

He pulled back enough to catch his breath, forehead still resting against Harry’s as they panted into each other’s mouths. In a sudden movement, Louis shoved Harry’s shoulders back onto the bed and positioned himself higher on his body, grinding his arse down against Harry’s crotch to draw a breathy moan from him.

“Fuck,” Harry tightened his grip on Louis, fighting to keep him in place. Louis had without a doubt caught him off guard and he seemed to be struggling to catch up to what was happening.

“Louis,” he rasped after a few deep breaths, “Louis on the phone…” Harry softened his hold and ran a hand down his side, “...are you alright?”

“I need you,” Louis clenched his jaw, both hands coming to rest on Harry’s chest for support. Something in his expression seemed to tip Harry off that something wasn’t quite right.

“Hey,” Harry released his hips and brought his hands to rest on top of Louis’, “I’m here, yeah? It’s okay, I’m going to take care of you, baby.”

Louis drew his hands into fists, “No, I need you.”

“No? What is it you need from me?” Harry lifted one of Louis’ hands, leaving a tender kiss on his palm, “Do you want me to give you a back rub? Something to help you relax?”

“Fuck me,” he said simply in a commanding tone, “now.”

“I-I, wh – ” Harry knitted his eyebrows, searching Louis’ eyes earnestly, “Louis what are – ”

“I want you, I want to feel you come inside me, Harry. I want to be good for you... fall apart just for you,” Louis’ tone more aggressive and assertive than ever, “Please just…” he balled his fists in the fabric of Harry’s t-shirt, “Fuck me.”

After a brief moment of hesitancy, something inside Harry took over and his expression turned a hint darker, soaked in lust, “Someone’s being awfully demanding,” he took a firm hold of Louis’ hips and switched their positions making his breath hitch. 

“And honestly? I don’t think you’re in much of a position to be ordering  _ me _ around, honey. Let’s not forget who’s in charge here,” Harry pinned both of Louis’ wrists in one hand above his head on the comforter, using his other hand to take a hold of his face. 

Louis squirmed, bucking up against Harry’s body, “I  _ command _ you to fuck me,” he demanded.

Harry let out something like a laugh between amusement and disbelief, “You think playing the prince card is going to change anything?” he leaned in, biting down rather harshly on his neck followed by a whimper escaping Louis’ lips.

“Did you forget who you belong to or should I mark you up really well so you don’t forget?” he licked into Louis’ skin, lips trailing down to one of his nipples, sucking delicately before clamping down enough to draw out a series of broken curses and pleas from Louis.

“Harry,” Louis whined, bucking up more trying to get some friction, any friction, against his dick. Harry, knees on either side of his thighs, lowered himself enough to trap Louis’ writhing hips down against the bed, “H-Harry, please.”

Harry trailed his mouth across to the other nipple, tongue drawing small circles around the sensitive skin, “You’re being quite bratty today,” a nibble, making Louis’ hips snap and back arch, “I think I might have to fuck you just to get you to shut up for a while. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Always like coming apart for me,” he rutted against Louis purposefully underneath him. 

Louis nodded eagerly completely losing any filter on the noises coming from himself. This was exactly what he needed: sweet release. Not having to think about anything except for being broken down by this gorgeous creature. No obligations, no expectations. 

He relaxed into the sensation of Harry exploring his body until he reached the shell of Louis’ ear, “The things I’m going to do to your pretty little body… no one will ever measure up to me once I’m done with you.” 

A shiver ran down his spine and he grew impossibly harder, “Tell me… tell me how you’re going to ruin me,” Louis arched his back, off the bed. He wondered if it was possible to come untouched by Harry’s voice alone. 

“I’m going to make you come so hard this whole goddamn palace will hear you falling apart for me,” Harry murmured causing a small sense of panic to stir inside Louis, breath catching slightly, “What will they think of their sweet little prince then?” 

_ What would they think? _

Louis tried to shake the thought from his mind, focusing back on the here and now. Harry. This moment. That’s it, nothing else.

“They’re going to know,” Harry continued, releasing his hold on Louis’ hands to run his own down the length of Louis’ torso only pausing once he got right above his trackies. He adjusted enough to make room to start working Louis’ pants down to expose his leaking cock.

“They are all going to know how utterly gone you are for me… rather spend your time riding my cock than in another meeting…” Harry drew it out, but whatever followed went over Louis’ head as a wave of anxiety hit him like a freight train, “What a shameless little thing you are.”

_ Stop, stop, stop, please stop _ . Everything inside Louis’ mind screamed as he fought for his mouth to catch up. But he couldn’t begin to push the words past his lips as they started to tremble. Louis could feel his dick hitting the back of Harry’s throat but it was too much - it was all too much.

His eyes began to burn as tears pooled in the corners of his eyes, “Stop…” Louis whispered, only audible to himself, “Stop – red, red!” Harry pulled off immediately as Louis pushed him away in protest. 

He hastily scooted back towards the headboard and as far away from Harry as possible without standing.

“Louis- are – what’s wrong?” Harry’s voice took an immediate turn, concerned eyes falling on Louis across the bed. He reached a reassuring hand out to place on his ankle.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Louis shot back, jerking his legs out of Harry’s proximity, tears starting to peak over the edge of his eyes.

Harry jumped in shock, pulling his hand back trying to not make any sudden movements, “Louis… I’m sorry did I… did I say something…?” he trailed off, trying his best not to push Louis further into his own head.

When Louis didn’t respond, Harry tried again, “What do you need, do you want me to get you anything?” he seemed to be rouletting through the different possibilities.

“Leave,” was all he could manage. 

_ He was a fuckup as a prince, a fuckup as a son and honestly? The only reason Harry was here was because he was being paid. What even was the point. Harry didn’t give a shit about him.  _

_ Why was he so bent on seeking approval from people who he could never really please? _

“I- Louis – ” Harry’s gaze fell on him pleadingly. Louis could see in his eyes just how much he pitied him  – how pathetic Harry thought he was. 

“Just fucking leave, I don’t want you here,” Louis bit back, turning away from him and curling in on himself.

Harry sat there for a long while  – Louis wasn’t sure how long  – before speaking up again, “Louis, please don’t shut me out like this…”

“I want you to leave,” Louis repeated, keeping his cold demeanor intact.

After a moment, he felt the bed move as Harry stood.

“Louis, I’ll leave if that’s what you want but… I’m sorry. And I’m here when you’re ready to talk, okay?” 

Louis listened as the door shut behind Harry and for a long while afterward he didn’t move from his spot. With just a few words, Louis had managed to completely wreck the last good thing in his life. 


	4. 24 November 2017

24 November 2017 

_‘Crown Prince of England, Louis Tomlinson, is set to meet with the President of India this week to discuss tra_ – _’_

“Wait–” Harry sat to attention and motioned towards Zayn, “Go back.”

“Mate,” shaking his head sympathetically, he took a drag of his cigarette, “Don’t you think at this point you’re just torturing yourself?” He placed the TV remote on the bar and crossed the room to plop down next to him.

Harry reluctantly relaxed back against the sofa, chewing on the inside of his lip, still eyeing the now blank screen.

“I mean, what were you expecting? It was bound to happen eventually, right?” Zayn took another drag before offering it over to Harry who accepted it begrudgingly.

“I don’t know what I was expecting,” letting his head loll backwards and lungs fill with smoke, “I didn’t think it would last as long as it did, honestly. But… I also didn’t think it would end the way it did either.”

He pulled his phone back out to check it for the upteenth time today.

Still no new messages.

“Well, seems like you really dodged a bullet if you ask me. Fucking going off on you for no reason? Who does that shit.”

Harry shook his head, “That’s the thing, it wasn’t like him at all. I don’t know what I did though to upset him so much… he was so angry. I hit some sort of nerve but I can’t for the life of me figure out what it was and he hasn’t talked to me since.”

“Bloody Prince of England, definitely one for the books. Only you could pull that off,” Zayn shook his head in disbelief.

“My two cents, though? You were in the right place at the right time and he was pissed off enough with his situation to be a bit rebellious. But from the looks of it,” he gestured toward the TV, “he seems to be getting his shit together and I would guess fucking blokes like us on the regular isn’t part of the job description. I’d try not to take it too personally though. You’re fucking phenomenal at what you do and honestly, it’s his loss. Don’t be too hard on yourself,” he knocked his knee against Harry’s.

“Better hurry and get back in the game soon, before I start picking off your clients for myself,” Zayn tacked on, taking the cigarette back from him.

“Take ‘em, I’d probably scare them away, too,” Harry ran his hands over his face, sinking further into the sofa.

“Now you’re just being dramatic,” he laughed and gave Harry’s knee a small squeeze, “I’ve gotta head out, Liam’s expecting me to pick him up for lunch and…” Zayn glanced at his watch, “I’m already ten minutes late. See you back at the flat?”

Harry nodded, “Yeah, tell him I said hi, haven’t seen him in a while.”

“He’s been busy filling in for Noah at the club on the other side of town. He should be back around Noir next week I think he said,” he rose to leave before turning back to Harry, “Oh, can you also wipe down the bar before you lock up? I asked Jack to but you know that lazy wanker.”

“Left without doing it?” Harry guessed, “Yeah, no worries.”

“Ace, you’re the best, mate,” and with slight wave, took his leave.

Harry stood and stretched his arms above his head. He was utterly knackered. Not that he had been doing much of anything recently other than moping around and helping Zayn keep the place afloat while Liam had been out.

Genuinely, he had tried to at least schedule in some escort jobs here and there, but after a few outings his heart wasn’t behind it and he could feel it affecting his performance. So he’d settled doing clerical work and odd jobs around the club, passing his clients off to whomever could squeeze them in.

And now, it had been close to three weeks, well, eighteen days, since everything came crashing down. Not that Harry was counting or anything.

He tried to restrain himself from texting Louis too often but he had sent him on at least ten separate occasions, desperate for a response – any response.

 _06/11/2017 08:36 PM  
_ _‘Louis, can we talk about what happened? Are you alright?’_

 _06/11/2017 08:50 PM  
_ _‘I’m so sorry if I did something wrong, I didn’t mean to upset you.’_

 _08/11/2017 10:23 AM  
_ _‘Louis.’_

 _11/11/2017 02:46 AM  
_ _‘Are you awake? I can’t sleep. Do you want to meet for coffee? My treat.’_

 _13/11/2017 04:36 PM  
_ _‘I saw a cloud today that reminded me of you.’_

 _14/11/2017 09:21 AM  
_ _‘Could use one of your cuppas - the weather is so dreary today.’_

 _14/11/2017 09:22 AM  
_ _‘Do you think it’s true that it rains because the sky is sad?’_

 _17/11/2017 03:20 PM  
_ _‘Hope you’re doing alright.’_

 _18/11/2017 11:11 PM  
_ _‘Make a wish. I wish my bananas were ripe so I could eat one :(’_

 _22/11/2017 03:50 AM  
_ _‘Louis, please talk to me.’_

Harry sighed, scrolling through the texts. Deep down he knew how desperate he sounded but really he didn’t give a fuck anymore. He had been struggling to keep boundaries with Louis almost since the beginning. But at this point, he was worried sick and didn’t know what else to do.

For all he knew, maybe Louis was perfectly fine. Maybe he had moved on. He had probably realized he didn’t need to be shelling out money for someone like Harry when he could pull anyone he wanted with a snap of his fingers.

And even if Louis really was over Harry, Harry was fairly sure he wasn’t over Louis in the slightest.

Clients had always come and gone for one reason or another in the past but nothing had felt quite like what he and Louis had in his opinion.

And maybe that was the reason why Louis ended things between them – because Harry couldn’t keep that professionalism to him. Those typically clear-cut boundaries had been fading more so than Harry would like to admit. He was too sweet, too loving, on him. Louis had signed up for a rentboy, not someone to query about his personal life like Harry had done that night.

Whatever the case, Harry felt like shit for letting Louis down.

In a last ditch attempt, he sent one final message.

 _24/11/2017 11:10 PM  
_ _‘I’ll be at Bennu, tomorrow around 10:00 AM. Meet me?’_

 

. . .

 

Harry made sure to get there a full thirty minutes early just in case. Bennu was busy enough for them to blend in but not too busy that someone would recognize Louis.

That was, assuming he even showed.

Harry’s hopes weren’t very high at this point but he went ahead and ordered a latte and sat down in a secluded part of the shop to wait.

He sipped away at his drink, knee bouncing slightly in anticipation glancing up every time the chime on the front door dinged. But each time it was a stranger’s face that returned a curious glance, no Louis to be found.

Harry fished his phone out of his coat pocket 10:43 AM and no new messages.

It was a long shot, he presumed, thinking that after all this time of Louis ignoring his texts that he would decide on a whim to agree to meet him. And as much as Harry didn’t want to consider it, there was a strong possibility that Louis may have changed his number and hadn’t received a single text he had sent.

_Would that somehow be better or worse?_

The door jingled and Harry eagerly looked up in time to see a woman with her young daughter stepping inside to escape the chilly weather. He relaxed back into the chair, hands wrapping around his mostly emptied cup.

Why was he expecting anything different?

Harry moved to tuck his phone away as the chime of the front door rang again and in walked a very small, very apprehensive Louis dressed down in an oversized hoodie and jeans with a baseball cap. He was not one for dramatics, or so he liked to believe, but in that moment it took everything in him not to immediately rush to him.

It took a minute before Louis spotted Harry and made his way over, pulling out the seat across from him, deliberately avoiding eye contact.

“Louis,” it came out almost like a sigh of relief. The clothes he was wearing made him look impossibly more petite and up-close Harry could see dark circles under his eyes behind an old pair of glasses. He looked like he hadn’t properly slept in months.

As grateful as Harry felt to finally see him again, the nagging sense that he had done this to Louis sat heavy in his chest.

“Harry, I…” Louis kept his eyes fixated on his lap as he spoke, letting his hands fall there as well, “I’m sorry, I should have talked to you sooner but…” he shook his head, trailing off, “I just felt like I needed to set the record straight and apologize for how I acted. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that and I shouldn’t have pushed you away. You have every right to be angry with me.”

“Louis, I’m not angry with you,” Harry’s eyes fell on him pleadingly, “not in the least.”

Louis chewed on his lower lip, “Uhm, I also wanted to say that I don’t think…. I don’t think we can do this anymore,” their eyes finally meeting.

Harry swallowed knowingly, nodding. If anything was to come out of their meeting, he had anticipated this. The thought of ending their escapades was one thing, but not having Louis around in any capacity anymore was a different story, “I understand if you feel like you can’t continue with me.”

“That’s… all I wanted to say,” looking to the side, Louis pushed himself up from the table to leave.

“Wait,” Harry grabbed his hand impulsively before pulling back, “At the very least… Please. Just tell me what’s been going on, Louis. What did I do? Are you alright? I’ve been worried sick. Business or not, I don’t think I can in good conscious walk away from this without making sure you’re alright.”

Surprisingly, Louis didn’t shrug away from the touch but instead settled back into the chair, taking a deep breath, “Harry… I’m fine, really, I am.”

“Bullshit, Louis.” he shot back rather harshly, shock flashing across Louis’ face.

“Don’t try to play that card with me, I’m not buying. You can’t pull a ‘red’, shut me out for three weeks without any explanation, and then show up looking like shit trying to tell me you’re fine?” Harry shook his head looking to the side, “Louis, I’m not mad at you, not even close. But I’m not going to let you sit here and lie to my face. Something happened. Something you’re not telling me.”

Louis interlocked his fingers, resting his forearms on the table. He let Harry’s words settle before speaking up, “What I’m dealing with… it isn’t what you signed up for,” his posture grew a bit more stiff. Harry couldn’t see Louis’ eyes, still cast downward, but by the way his voice wavered he suspected Louis might be close to tears.

“Louis, forget job descriptions. Forget ‘supposed to’s and ‘supposed not to’s… I think by this point we can both agree we have a friendship outside of what we’ve been doing, yeah?” Harry copied Louis’ posture, “I’m here. Please just talk to me.”

It took a bit of time for him to work up the courage to continue.

“I, uhm…” he sighed, “I’ve been bailing on a lot of important meetings with my dad for months now. And right before I rang you, we got into a big fight and I finally had the nerve to tell him that I wanted to renounce my claim to the throne and let Félicité take my place,” his eyes coming to catch Harry’s.

“He didn’t take it well and said some really awful shit to me and basically told me to grow a pair and to stop being such a child… I shouldn’t have called you in the state I was in but things went really wrong really quickly. I was panicked and angry and just needed some sort of release – something to get my mind off of everything.

“And then when you said the thing about uhm,” he looked to the side, “‘the whole palace would hear me’ and ‘what would they think…’ it just hit a bit too close to home, and…” voice growing more uncertain and distant.

And, fuck. Harry reached his hand across the table to wrap around Louis’. He tensed for a moment before relaxing into the touch. The thought of Louis ever disliking his role as prince would have never crossed Harry’s mind and he wondered all at once if he really even knew Louis as well as he thought he did.

“I just sunk into this hysteric state… what would they think? What would happen to me - to my family if they found out I’m…” Harry could feel Louis begin to shake slightly, “Maybe they could find it in themselves to forgive me missing out on some meetings here and there but if they knew...” he grew silent and withdrew his hand back to his lap.

Harry could sense Louis slipping back into his own head, “Louis, let’s get out of here, okay?”

 

. . .

 

They walked side by side in silence for quite a while, neither knowing exactly what to say.

“I had no idea things were that bad,” Harry spoke up after a long stretch of silence, “I never meant to set you off like that if I had known…”

“There’s no way you would have, it’s something I don’t like to think about, much less talk about,” Louis had calmed down exponentially, hands buried deep in his coat pockets, “It is what it is, I guess. Everything comes at some sort of price and mine just happens to be the complete lack of autonomy in every aspect of my life.”

“But what about Félicité?” Harry glanced to Louis, “Would your dad not even reconsider?”

Shaking his head, Louis let out a tired laugh, “He’s so dead set on me becoming king even after the argument we had he’s been on my arse even more. Part of me feels like shit for fighting it so hard which just gives him more power to manipulate my guilty conscience to his advantage,” he looked up at the sky as they walked, “There have even been talks of finding someone for me to marry in hopes of keeping me under control, I guess. I’m supposed to be meeting with a potential bride-to-be tonight.”

Something about the thought of Louis being married off made his stomach churn, “So your parents don’t know…”

“That I’m gay?” he asked, looking to Harry, “No, only Niall, and well, the handful of blokes I’ve hooked up with along the way,” a slight breeze picked up causing him to shiver somewhat.

“I know there’s nothing wrong with who I am but it’s something I’ve fought with for so long. I’m expected to take the throne, I’m expected to marry a daughter of a rich diplomat and lead the country, have no less than five children. Coming out… has never really been an option. It’s never even been a thought. England isn’t ready for that and my parents…” he trailed off, growing silent.

Harry nodded in understanding, keeping his eyes focused ahead of them as they walked. They neared a secluded neighborhood park and Harry turned down a path shaded by tree branches stretching in every direction.

“You might be surprised at the capacity for understanding some parents have. Sometimes ones you would least expect it from,” Harry mumbled absentmindedly.

“What do you mean?” Harry swore Louis was walking a fraction of a centimeter closer to him.

Harry hesitated, “I– uhm,” he shook his head, “It’s nothing, I just understand to an extent how you’re feeling about your parents.”

“How did your parents take it? Do you still talk to them?”

“My dad? Not at all. He’s always been an utter arsehole, though,” Harry laughed dryly, “But I remember when I was younger being so fucking terrified of what my mum would think - how she would react. And then when I was sixteen she caught my friend buried balls deep inside me,” eyes trained on his feet he smiled privately to himself.

“She didn’t say anything about it for two days and I cried like a baby. Then she came into my room one night and told me how much she loved me and gave me a book about safe sex practices and a box of condoms. One of the most awkward moments of my life but at the end of the day, she’s always had my back. Even knowing the kind of business I’m in now, she’s been nothing but supportive.”

“She must love you a lot,” Louis responded, seemingly caught up in his own thoughts.

Harry nodded in agreeance, “The world definitely isn’t a forgiving one and I can tell you I’ve had my fair share of shit I’ve had to deal with since coming out. But, the people who love and care for you will have your back.

“I know for someone in your position having all eyes on you… it can’t be easy. I guess I never really stopped to think about how much pressure you’re under. I can’t imagine how difficult that is.”

“Hah, what a fucking understatement,” Louis shook his head, “I honestly don’t know how I’ve managed this long but…” he shook his head, “it’s really starting to take a toll on me and I don’t know how much longer I can keep going at this rate.”

He trailed off, “...it’s just way too fucking much for one person to handle on their own.”

Harry withdrew his hand from his pocket and wound it around Louis shoulder, both stopping in their tracks. Louis curling into his side without hesitation.

Lips resting on the top of his head, Harry wrapped his arms tightly around Louis as he began to shake, small sobs resonating from deep inside himself.

“Harry, I’m so sorry,” Louis balled his fists in the front of Harry’s coat, “I-I know I shouldn’t have shut you out like I did… I just didn’t want to drag you deeper into all this shit a-and…”

“Shh, it’s okay, Lou, I’m here, it’s okay,” Harry ran his hand up and down Louis’ back, “I’m just glad you decided to trust me with this… I know letting me in like this can’t be easy for you but… but I’m here for you, I promise. Whatever you need, I’m here.”

Harry could feel his heart breaking with each tremble of Louis’ frame tucked against him. He wanted nothing more than to get him as far away as possible from all of the pressures and stresses he was being subjected to by the very people who were supposed to have his best interest at heart.

In that moment, he wondered if anyone had ever genuinely sat down with Louis and just listened to him – listened to his anxieties and fears without dismissing him.

Or could it be that this was this something that he had held onto all these years, worried of letting his family down?

Had anyone ever really taken the time to get to know Louis?

On the surface Louis was charming, sure, maybe a bit rebellious. But at the end of the day the very core of who Louis was as a person was so much more complex in a way that Harry couldn’t even begin to define properly. Louis was just so full of life with a capacity for compassion that would put everyone Harry had ever met to shame.

No one deserved the hand that he was dealt, but especially not Louis.

They stood like that for quite some time, Louis seeming to take some comfort inside Harry’s arms trying to catch his breath until a sound of a twig snapping in the distance startled Louis back into reality. He drew away from Harry and looked around nervously until he was certain no one else was around, “I, uhm, I think I should head back before someone realizes I’m gone and they send Niall after me,” Louis pushed his hands back into his pockets, looking away shyly.

“Yeah, okay,” Harry chewed on the side of his lip for a second before squeezing Louis’ bicep gently, “I’m serious about what I said though, I’m here for you. If you need to get away from the palace for a while, ring me. My flat isn’t quite as glamorous but I have alcohol, two dickhead roommates, and a promise of a good time.”

Louis gave an understanding nod and a small smile, eyes fixated on the ground, “I’ll keep that in mind,” he trailed his eyes up to meet Harry’s, “I’m sorry I’m such a fucking crybaby lately but… thank you, you know, for everything. Really.”

“It’s okay to cry, Louis, it just makes you human. But you’re going to pull through, promise,” he squeezed Louis’ arm one last time before tucking it back into his pocket.

“Guess we’ll see,” he shrugged. Giving a small sigh Louis turned and walked back the way they had come. Harry stood there for quite some time watching him grow more and more distant until he turned and began his way back home.

If he hadn’t already made it his mission before, Harry was certain that he was going to do everything in his power to make sure Louis never had to feel alone again.

 


	5. 25 November 2017

25 November 2017

Before heading back to the palace, Louis spent a decent hour or so enjoying the feeling of fresh air and no one breathing down the back of his neck. He was sure someone had probably noticed his absence and there would undoubtedly be consequences. Just for now, though, he needed to taste what little freedom he could get his hands on before having to meet with his potential future bride later that night.

However, once Louis doubled back around he was able to get back into the palace without anyone seeming to realize he had left.

As he walked down the hallways, he was briefly conscious of a few people giving him curious glances and a few averting their eyes. Normally they greeted him warmly, but with everything else going on Louis couldn’t be arsed to dwell on it for more than a moment.

He pulled out his mobile to check to make sure he hadn’t missed anything too important and realized all at once that it had been on silence with a long string of missed calls and a few texts sitting at the top of his inbox from Niall.

 _25/11/2017 12:20 PM  
_ _‘Mate, where the fuck are you. You need to get back to the palace NOW.’_

 _25/11/2017 12:27 PM  
_ _‘Louis, answer your bloody phone.’_

 _25/11/2017 12:42 PM  
_ _‘Of all times for you to go MIA... your dad is about to send someone to find you if you don’t get back soon.’_

 _25/11/2017 01:02 PM  
_ _‘Someone sent this to Karen, we’re working on tracking them down but they are threatening to go public. Mate, you need to get back here now.’_

Immediate panic overtook Louis as he saw the ‘...’ of Niall sending another text at the bottom of the screen. He stopped halfway to his room and waited until a picture message came through. Hesitantly, Louis clicked on the picture and... shit.

There was no way to play off how it looked.

It was from this afternoon in the park with Harry, wrapped up in his arms, clinging to him for what seemed to be dear life. And Harry, fucking Harry, nuzzled against his forehead.

Louis looked up self consciously and felt like everyone’s eyes were fixated on him.

Judging him. Knowing his dirty little secret.

Louis made his way back to his room in a hurry, not noticing as tears started to burn his eyes for the second or third time that day.

He closed the door behind himself, immediately retreating to the furthest corner of the room and sinking down to the floor. Louis sat there for a long while gripping his phone and eyes trained on the picture staring back at him. He couldn’t even begin to pick apart the complexity of what he was feeling other than completely hopeless mixed with waves of regret and a decent amount of fear.

He knew better. He fucking knew better than to drop his guard like that. Especially in public.

It was no longer a hypothetical as to how everyone would react – it was a reality that was slowly unfolding in front of him. And the likelihood of it being stopped before it went public…

And even if it was stopped, there was no doubt Karen had passed the picture on to his parents. No doubt that it was making its rounds inside the palace walls.

It was inevitable that someone would let it slip even if they were able to track down the person who took the picture.

Without a second thought, he reeled back and threw his phone across the room with a thud against the adjacent wall.

A knock from the hallway made him jump, eyes immediately darting to the door. Panic and terror overtaking him at the thought of his father standing on the other side waiting to tear him down further if it was even possible. He dug his fingers into the fabric of his jeans, listening for any kind of indication as to who it was.

“Louis?” a fresh swell of tears making themselves known at the sound of his mother’s voice, calm and collected, “Honey, I’m coming in.”

He guessed he must have been a sight by the way his mum approached him rather cautiously. She looked almost as wary as Harry had before. Like he was so fragile - scared he might break with one wrong step.

He hated that look.

“Mum, I’m…” Louis’ voice cracking as he finally lost his last few strands of composure, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he dropped his head to his knees, tightening his grip as he began to feel himself shake involuntarily.

Her footsteps across the wood flooring light as she closed the space between them and sat down at his side, “Louis,” arms drawing him closer and delicate fingers combing through his hair, “It’s okay, sweetheart, shh.”

Louis leaned into her embrace, “I fucked up, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean for this…” he managed, resting his head against her chest.

“It’s going to be okay, I promise,” she whispered against the crown of his head, rocking slightly back and forth.

“I didn’t want this– I didn’t mean… I didn’t want you to find out this way,” his voice wasn’t even recognizable to himself anymore, “Dad is going to be so angry with me.”

“Baby, you didn’t do anything wrong, please believe me when I say that,” his mum pulled back slightly, placing a hand on either side of his face to look him in the eye, “I’m so sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t come to me, I love you so much, Louis.”

She ran her thumb under his eyes, brushing away a few stray tears before they were replaced, “I am so proud of you. You are so brave.”

Louis shook his head in protest, shying away from looking at her, “No, I’m not. I’m a coward. I always have been. I couldn’t bring myself to- to tell you…” he swallowed, finally making eye contact, “Mum, I’m...” his voice sounding smaller than it ever had before as he became aware of the mirrored tears in his mother’s eyes, “I’m so scared.”

“You are so much braver than you realize, baby, you’ve been holding onto this so long, you don’t have to carry this on your own anymore,” she pulled him in closer, “We’re going to figure this out, I promise.”

Burying his face against her neck, he wrapped his arms tightly around her middle. A small spark of relief surging inside him but tears continued to spill down his face.

Louis wasn’t sure how much time had passed once he had managed to calm down enough to think somewhat clearly. He pulled back and dried his eyes on the sleeve of his sweatshirt before his mother leaned in, kissing each of his cheeks in turn.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come to you,” he cast his eyes into his lap, hands fidgeting nervously, “I just didn’t know how… how you and dad would take it and I didn’t want to disappoint you… and I was worried that this on top of wanting to renounce my claim to the throne–”

“Louis,” his mum grabbed his hands in her own, stroking them softly, “I love you and I will always love you. Nothing you say, nothing you do will change that. We’re on your side and want what’s best for you,” she paused, looking down at Louis’ hands, “I know your father doesn’t always come off as the most understanding person, it’s just his nature. Just give him some time and he’ll come around. At the end of the day, all we want is for you to be happy. Whatever that is, whatever that looks like, only you can decide.

“This life might not be what you would have chosen given the option… and I know sometimes your father and I get caught up in our duties to our country…” she returned her gaze to Louis, “And I know that’s meant that sometimes we haven’t been as attentive to you and your sisters as we should have been. Part of me always felt like we were pushing you too hard in preparation for the throne… I just wish I would have realized the extent of what we were putting you through. I’m so sorry, honey.”

Louis nodded resolutely, returning to his mother’s embrace and the two sat there for quite some time in the silence of the room. He couldn’t even recall the last time they had had a chance to talk like this - open and candidly. To him, it felt like coming home. It felt like maybe, just maybe, things could be alright.

His mother was the first to break the silence, “So… do you want to tell me about this boy?” she continued carding her fingers through Louis’ hair as he was nestled against her shoulder, “He’s the one that’s been popping in and out for a while, right?”

“H-how…” Louis felt himself blush.

“I had my suspicions,” she smiled coyly, “Mums know everything. Plus, I’ve never seen you take such an interest in environmental conservation efforts before that boy came around. I’ve also never seen the prince take meetings in trackies in the middle of the night before.”

Louis ran his hands down his face in embarrassment, “Ughhh, god, I thought we were being sneaky.”

“Mmmm, not so much,” she squeezed him slightly, “How long has this been going on? What’s his name?”

“His name is Harry and I guess it’s been about…” he chewed on his bottom lip thinking back, “Two or three months now?” It felt good to finally be able to talk about Harry with someone after holding it in for so long, “It’s complicated, though,” he tacked on to spare his mum the detail and embarrassing the both of them.

“He’s a cutie. Do you think he’s going to be sticking around? I’d love to meet him.”

“I’m not so sure,” Louis looked off absentmindedly, “Today was the first time I’d seen him in weeks and was sort of meant to be a goodbye but…”

“But?” his mum mimicked his tone.

He shook his head, changing the subject, “What am I going to do, mum… I’m not ready for all of this to go public.”

“Karen and Maurice are looking into it – working on negotiations. They will get things settled. But in the meantime, I think you should get out of the palace for a while. Maybe spend some time at the flat in Paris? You’ve been cooped up here for way too long and you’re overdue for a holiday,” Louis sat up as she spoke, “How does that sound?”

“That sounds nice, honestly,” Louis gave her a small smile, “Thanks, mum.”

She ran her hand down his arm, “I’ll have a flight arranged tonight, get packed up and I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Would it be alright if, uhm, I asked Harry to come with me?” he tried to play it off like casual request but his still burning face probably gave him away, “I’m just nervous if this goes public it could get really awful really quickly and it’s probably best if both of us aren’t here. Just in case.”

“Of course, hun, give him a call and have someone go pick him up,” she leaned in and gave him a kiss on the forehead before standing, “I love you so much, honey.”

“Love you too,” Louis gave a weak smile as she closed the door behind her. He took a deep breath before standing to track down his abandoned mobile from across the room, dialing Harry’s number before he gave himself a chance to chicken out.

“Louis?” Harry answered after a couple of rings, “Did you get home alright?”

“Harry, uhm, listen,” Louis let out a breath, cutting to the chase. His voice more steady than it had been all day, “I’m sorry that I keep dragging you deeper into this mess but someone… someone got a picture of us at the park today.”

“O-oh.”

Silence drifted from Harry’s end so Louis continued, “They sent it to my father’s assistant and are threatening to go public with it. They are working on negotiations right now but in the meantime I think it’s best if we stay on the downlow.”

“Shit, Louis I’m so sorry,” Harry sounded genuinely concerned.

“I’m leaving for Paris tonight. I need to get away from here for a while until this shitstorm has settled and I wanted to know do you… do you want to come with me?” Louis let the question hang between them for a moment, “If that picture leaks things could take a turn for the worst for you as well and I don’t want you to suffer because of my stupid lapse of judgement.”

“Is that alright? Would you be okay if I went with you?”

“It’s the least I could do for you after everything,” Louis took a seat on the end of his bed, “I’ll send a car for you around seven, okay?”

 

. . .

 

Of course it was fucking freezing and raining. What perfect weather to match the occasion. Louis had already had to fight off several people trying to hold an umbrella over his head to shelter him from the drizzle but had convinced them that his hoodie would work just fine.

He tightened his grip on the straps of his backpack as he made his way toward the small jet. The car carrying Harry pulling up as he neared the steps. Something inside him made him continue his ascent instead of waiting for him - still feeling the unwanted gazes of his security and his father’s employees falling hard on him.

As much as he knew he shouldn’t give a fuck what they thought, it was hard to not feel at least a bit self-conscious.

He boarded the plane without so much as making eye contact with anyone before curling up in a seat near the back.

In stark contrast, Harry strode up the stairs, greeting everyone in turn before taking a spot across from Louis, “Hi,” he reached across and squeezed Louis’ knee. He gave Harry a half-hearted smile, shifting his gaze out the window as the crew began taking the necessary steps for departure.

Harry bit his lip, sitting back in his seat, visibly caught off-guard by Louis’ cold demeanor.

All the while, Louis was trapped in some kind of limbo wanting to tell Harry to run as far away from him as possible for his own good. Louis would bring him nothing but disappointment and regret. But the other half of him just wanted to cuddle up next to Harry and never let him go.

The warring sides leaving him paralyzed to make any sort of decision or know how to communicate what he was feeling. And maybe he would feel differently tomorrow. Maybe the stress and tension of everything in his life was forcing him into a false sense of comfort with Harry.

Harry... someone Louis had been paying to be with him… he wasn’t even sure if Harry genuinely liked him or just pitied him enough to stick around.

Louis drew his arms around himself tighter, doing everything in his power to not look at him. Not think about all the possibilities of why he was here other than the fact that somewhere deep down he might actually care for him.

He closed his eyes and willed himself to keep it together.

 

. . .

 

By the time they managed to get to the flat Louis was ready to sleep for a week straight. And if he didn’t wake up, that’d probably be okay, too, he figured.

The flat wasn’t much in comparison to the palace which was secretly why Louis always liked going here with his mother and Lottie when he was younger.

It had been quite some time since his last visit but nothing had really changed. Same kingsized bed positioned next to huge glass windows overlooking the city. He and his sister always loved looking out at the lights of Paris on clear nights like these, watching the city bustle below them. Sometimes their mother even let them crack the window while they slept, letting the sounds of the streets stream into the small flat.

And the same quaint kitchen where his mum used to make a proper fry-up before he and Lottie would get up. She used to sing to them to wake them up and they would sit on the bed and eat together while they planned what they were going to do that day.

Nothing had ever felt quite like their weekend getaways to Paris. Some of Louis’ best childhood memories were made here. They always tried to come out here at least three or four times a year but as Louis and Lottie got older and their other siblings came along, their trips became few and far between.

Harry plopped his bag by the door, giving the space a once-over. He took a few steps closer to the window, looking at the view outside, “It really is gorgeous here… never thought I would see Paris in person…” he seemed to be speaking mostly to himself.

“Mmm, it is rather beautiful here,” Louis commented, a bit distracted as he busied himself shuffling through his bag, “I’m going to take a shower, make yourself at home. I’m not sure if my mum had time to get someone to drop off any groceries or not but if there’s anything in the refrigerator or pantry, feel free to have at it.”

He disappeared into the adjoined bathroom before Harry had a chance to say much else. Louis flicked on the water for the shower and leaned against the bathroom counter, looking at himself in the mirror. Swollen cheeks and eyes, dark circles, ratty hair, and overgrown scruff… he was a fucking mess by any standards.

_If only England could see their prince now… what a fucking joke._

Louis stripped down and stepped under the hot spray of the water, letting it sweep over him from head to toe. He closed his eyes, willing the water wash away everything. All of the doubt and anxiety. He felt so numb, so completely overwhelmed.

Once the water started to turn cold, he got out of the shower and toweled off, throwing on a clean pair of clothes and making his way back into the room.

The lights were still on but Harry was fast asleep, curled up on the sofa with some blankets Louis presumed he had found in the linen closet.

He made quick work of turning off the lights and climbing into the bed and under the blankets. Even with the lights off, the room was well lit by the city just beyond the window. He scooched over and opened it slightly, letting the cool fall breeze filter into the room.

Louis wasn’t sure how long he spent staring out the window that night. But eventually, hours later, he was able to doze off to thoughts of the simple life he used to know.

 

. . .

 

When Louis blinked awake, the sun was out, flooding the flat with light. He drew the covers tighter around himself, stretching his legs with a grunt.

“Just in time for a late lunch,” Harry’s voice was light and airy from behind him and Louis twisted around in the sheets to see him place a small take out bag and two cups of coffee down on the table.

“What time is it?” Louis asked, still groggy as he blinked a few more times, trying to untangle himself from the sheets.

“Almost three o’clock,” he retrieved a few plates from the kitchen, “I thought it would be best to let you rest.”

“Shit,” Louis rubbed the sleep from his eyes, throwing his legs off the side of the bed.

“I went down the road to the little cafe on the corner and picked up some croissants and a couple of coffees. I know it’s not the most adventurous French food, but I’ve never had one from France before and I thought you might need a little pick-me-up,” he placed the plates down on the table and sat a pastry on each one.

“You didn’t have to do that, I’ll pay you back,” Louis bit the inside of his lip looking over to him.

Harry’s demeanor shifted quickly, “Louis, I’m not here on a job. Can I not buy you lunch now?” his tone wasn’t harsh in the least. If anything, a bit frustrated.

“I, uhm… thank you,” Louis wasn’t sure exactly how to respond, “I’ll take the coffee right now but I’m not really that hungry so maybe I’ll eat a bit later...”

He grabbed the cup off the table as well as a pack of cigarettes and his lighter from his bag and escaped out to the balcony to have a smoke before Harry had a chance to protest.

Louis placed the coffee on the small table outside and leaned against the railing, lighting a cigarette and taking a deep drag. After a few more, he could feel his nerves beginning to settle slightly.

How was he supposed to handle Harry? He had spent so much time with him but this… this was different. This was somehow so much more intimate. And while deep down Louis wouldn’t want anyone else to be here with him outside of Harry, he felt like he was holding Harry hostage.

All the peppiness and small talk was nothing more than him trying to make good of a bad situation. What other option did Harry have? He couldn’t stay in London and risk being exposed if that picture surfaced.

“Do you mind if I join you?” Louis jumped slightly at Harry’s voice behind him. He hadn’t even heard the door open.

“Oh, uhm, if you don’t mind the smoke,” he looked back at Harry briefly before turning back to face the city.

Harry made himself comfortable on one of the chairs, tearing off pieces of his croissant, “How are you feeling?”

“I… I don’t really know,” he blew out a puff of smoke, chewing on the inside of his lip.

_He genuinely didn’t know how he felt anymore. Maybe conflicted was the right word?_

A stint of silence passed before Harry spoke again, “Louis… do you want me here?” he paused, “If you would rather have some space right now, I understand.”

Louis dropped his head slightly and watched the smoke drift from the end of his fag, “I think you should do what makes you most comfortable.”

“That’s not what I asked, Louis,” his tone coming off more concerned than anything, “Please, just, tell me what you want.”

Louis swallowed his pride but still couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact with him, “I… I don’t want you to leave but… I also don’t want you to stay if you would rather not be here.”

Harry seemed to accept the answer, nibbling at his late lunch and changing the subject, “Did you sleep well last night? It was a little chilly.”

“Considering everything, I guess I slept fairly well. I was really overdue for some sleep, I think,” Louis turned and extinguished his cigarette in the ashtray, “I’ll see if I can find some more blankets in case it’s cold again tonight - it’s always a little cool this time of year.”

Louis reached for his coffee, holding it securely with both hands, “If it’s alright though, I think it might do me some good to get out of here for a while on my own,” he rubbed his knuckles and looked over to Harry, “I’ll be back later tonight, though?” it sounded more like he was asking permission than anything.

Harry nodded in understanding, “Take all the time you need, but make sure you eat that croissant before you head out. Need to get some food in you.”

Louis nodded and hurried back inside to change, grabbing the croissant off the table and his jacket before heading out.

 

. . .

 

For a long time he just wandered through the streets of Paris. Walking as far as his legs could take him until he got to a point where he didn’t know exactly how to get back. Maybe if he went far enough he would be able to outrun everything waiting for him back in London.

He eventually found his way to a small cafe on the outskirts of Paris and sat on the patio outside, munching away on a dish he couldn’t even begin to pronounce correctly. For all the time he had spent in this city, Louis figured he probably should know at least some basic French but languages were never really his forte.

He sipped at a glass of wine and wondered what Harry was doing right now – if he had wandered out of the flat as well and was seeing the city first-hand.

After finishing his meal and paying the waitress, he called a cab to get him back to the flat. He couldn’t quite trust his sense of direction, or lack thereof, to get him there in one piece.

Louis inserted the key in the lock and turned the knob to see Harry sitting on the bed with the lights out, facing the window with a cup of tea in his hands. He closed the door behind himself and Harry, taking notice, glanced in his direction with a small smile, motioning for Louis to join him.

Without saying anything, Louis toed his shoes off and climbed up onto the bed, taking a seat beside Harry and leaning forward to open the window enough to let a breeze in.

“How do you feel?” Harry’s voice soft as he passed the mug over to Louis who accepted it appreciatively.

“Better,” he took a sip, “Still not 100% but… better than yesterday so… I guess that’s something.”

Harry nodded, “Good, that definitely is something.”

They sat in silence for what felt like an eternity, but neither one particularly uncomfortable. Rather, content soaking up the feeling of just taking a moment to be still.

“If you could do anything… anything at all,” Harry spoke up after a long stretch of silence, keeping his gaze fixed, “What would you do?”

Louis turned to look at him, a bit caught off guard, “No one… No one has ever asked me that, I… I don’t know,” he dropped his eyes to the all but empty mug resting in his lap. He felt Harry turn to look at him.

“I’ve always loved football, maybe I could play professionally,” Louis joked, smiling privately to himself.

“I didn’t know you played football,” Harry knocked his knee against Louis and it sent butterflies straight to his stomach.

“Yeah, but I mean, I’m not very good and I’m really out of practice,” Louis briefly caught his eyes, “I used to play all the time with Niall but after he messed his knee up, we haven’t played much.”

“Maybe I can sub in for Niall and we can play some footie when we get back to London,” Harry popped his signature dimple, “I’m not very good with my giraffe legs and all, but I can try.”

Louis let out a half-hearted laugh at the thought of Harry running down the field tripping over his own feet, “Yeah, I can see it now.”

He paused for a moment, turning to look at Harry, “What about you?”

“Hmm?”

“What would you do if you could do anything?”

Harry mulled it over for a moment, pursing his lips, “You know, I’m not really sure to be honest. I can’t say that I thought I would be where I am now six years ago, that’s for sure.”

“How did you end up at Palace Noir then?” Louis quizzed, “I mean, if that’s okay to ask…”

“My friend, Zayn, and I moved out to London for uni and stumbled upon the club on one of our drunken escapades. Back then it was just a gay bar and truthfully a pitiful excuse for one at that. I’m not even sure what made us stay, maybe the cheap booze or the cute boys… But that night, Zayn told me one day he was going to own the place and spent the whole night giving me an elaborate explanation of everything he would change,” Harry shook his head, “I thought it was just talking out of his arse, but the next morning he was still talking about that trashy bar.

“It wasn’t long after, Zayn met Liam and they started dating and it quickly turned from Zayn’s dream to their shared dream. Two years later, they had enough money to buy the place and started renovating it and turned it from a seedy little joint into what it is now,” Harry adjusted his position a bit, leaning back on his forearms.

“Somewhere along the way I agreed to come on board and did some stripping and eventually found myself enthralled by the culture of BDSM and I’ve been doing it for a few years now. I can’t say it’s something I see myself doing long term but it’s been exciting and enjoyable for me and I feel like I’m somewhat good at it.”

“You are,” the words slipped out of Louis’ mouth unconsciously, his posture quickly growing stiff. Whether it was to save Louis the embarrassment or avoid an awkward situation, Harry didn’t comment on his remark.

“Palace Noir wasn’t my first choice of names, though,” Harry laid all the way down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

“What was your first choice, then?” Louis turned around, body facing Harry.

“Fuckinghim Palace, but no one was really on board with that one, Zayn and Liam never appreciate my artistic flair,” Harry gave a small shrug, not breaking his calm demeanor.

Louis immediately erupted in a full body laugh, hands coming up to cover his mouth as he doubled over, causing Harry to laugh just as hard. He couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed quite this much and after everything, it felt better than words could describe.

Once he regained his composure, he wiped a few stray tears from his eyes and looked down at Harry smiling back at him. Something about that smile…

“I’d like to see it in person someday,” Louis kept his eyes fixed on Harry’s, holding his attention.

“When we get back to London maybe I’ll be able to get you in, I know a bloke or two,” Harry reached his hand out, rubbing circles with his thumb on Louis’ knee absentmindedly.  

Louis watched him, wanting to reach back and touch him, but something held him back.

Something he still couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“I know it was a bit chilly last night…” Louis’ tone softer than it had been before, “If you want to sleep up here you can.”

Harry’s thumb stilled and Louis felt his eyes searching his face, “Are you sure?” his voice just above a whisper.

Louis nodded, “Yeah, I think… I think that would be alright.”  


	6. 30 November 2017

30 November 2017

Louis had been holding onto the hope that as the days continued on, things would get easier somehow. Maybe his mounting anxiety would ebb and he would be able to process even a fraction of what he was feeling. And maybe he would stop feeling like a rubber band ready to snap, chain smoking like his life depended on it.

But after five days, everything had managed to get exponentially harder.

He had been struggling to stay asleep for more than a few hours at a time and by day three, Louis had resigned himself to spending most of his time curled up in bed mindlessly looking out the window.

After he had given up on mulling over how things could have played out had he not made one decision or another, what was most troublesome of all was that he still hadn’t been chewed out by his father. Even though his mum had done her best to reassure him that he wasn’t angry with Louis, he sensed otherwise.

If he knew anything about his father, he guessed that his utter disappointment in Louis had only grown since he and Harry had left and sooner or later he would unleash his wrath upon him.

The thing was Louis knew he had fucked up. Royally fucked up.

Regardless of how much everyone else had tried to convince him otherwise.

If nothing else, Louis was appreciative that his father would at least tell it to him straight and not hold back a single blow. Unlike Harry and his mum, his father wasn’t scared that Louis would break like everyone else seemed to be all too concerned about.

No, Louis’ father wouldn’t baby him like they had. It was what he deserved, he supposed.

But having to sit around waiting for that imminent call felt as crushing as he imagined his father’s lecture would be.

The part of him that was fearful, the part that wanted to please, could only hope that after everything was said and done, his father would forgive him.

Louis chewed on the inside of his lip, drawing the sheets tighter around himself. Maybe if he stayed here long enough, his father would forget he even existed.

“I made us something to eat, are you hungry?” he felt the bed shift as Harry sat down behind him, hand resting on his calf. Louis stomach grumbled again but he shook his head. Even the thought of eating made him nauseous, “Could you at least try to eat a little? You haven’t had much today. Would you eat some soup?”

He stayed quiet for a long stretch. Louis knew Harry was worried and he hated giving him a hard time, “Okay,” he finally responded just above a whisper, eyes still fixated out on the city.

If eating some soup was what it took to please Harry, he owed him that much.

Somewhere along the way, Louis had come to terms with the fact that the only reason he hadn’t completely lost it yet was because of Harry.

He wasn’t a cure-all by any means, but there was something about him that was calming and reassuring that helped Louis when he started getting too caught up in his own thoughts.

Louis knew he hadn’t been the easiest person to deal with especially in the last few days. But not once did Harry berate or snap at him. On the contrary, Harry had done nothing but make sure he was as comfortable as he possibly could be, whether it be making sure he ate and stayed hydrated or staying up until Louis dozed off at night.

Louis knew Harry must be just as exhausted as he was but he never complained for a moment.

Occasionally, when Louis had woken up in the middle of the night, he could hear Harry faintly snoring from the other side of the bed. Just having Harry there, not being alone, was more than Louis felt he possibly deserved after everything.

Right now, though, as much as the bed was holding him hostage, he was craving another cigarette. Groggy, he pulled himself out of bed and withdrew to the balcony, plopping down in one of the chairs and lighting the upteenth one of the day.

He made it through that one and a second before Harry peeked his head outside, “Soup’s ready, when you are,” doing his best to keep a tone that wasn’t too peppy but also not monotone by any standards.

Louis sat the remains in the ashtray and was careful not to brush against Harry as he crossed back into the flat.

Every step he made, he could feel Harry’s careful eyes watching him, studying him.

Harry sat the bowl down in front of Louis at the table and he begrudgingly spooned some into his mouth. After a few bites, realizing that something to eat was exactly what he needed. He didn’t even realize Harry had left the room until he walked back in and sat down across from him.

“I drew you a bath, I thought it might make you feel a bit better after you eat,” Harry twiddling his thumbs with his forearms resting on top of the table, “I grabbed you some clean clothes and laid them out for you, too.”

Louis abandoned the spoon in the bowl, raising his eyes to look at Harry, “You didn’t have to do that but… thank you.”

Harry gave him a small smile and reached across to squeeze his hand, “No worries, go hop it, I’ll clean up the kitchen.”

Louis retreated into the bathroom, closing the door behind himself and stripping down before sinking down into the tub. For the second time today, Harry had known just what Louis needed.

 

. . .

 

By the time Louis had toweled off and thrown on a clean pair of trackies, Harry was nestled up on the sofa reading quietly to himself. When Louis opened the door, he immediately lowered his book, pushing his glasses up on top of his head, “Better?”

“Yeah, a little better,” Louis wondered if this was possibly the most they had talked in the past few days, “Can I sit over here?”

Harry looked a bit surprised, “Of course,” he scooched over to make room for Louis at the other end.

Almost as if waiting for him to return, Louis’ mobile started ringing from the side table. Harry reached to grab it, Louis’ stomach immediately sinking.

What if it was Niall calling to tell him the picture had leaked. Or what if…

“Louis…” Harry’s eyes were trained on the screen, “It’s your dad… do you want me to answer it or…”

Louis hesitated for a minute before reaching out to take the phone from Harry’s hand. He let it ring a few more times, staring at the caller ID, trying to prepare himself for the worst.

And, really, expecting nothing but that.

Reluctantly, he answered on the last ring, raising the phone to his ear without speaking. He had been anticipating this call all week and now that it was here, he felt like he was going to be sick.

“Louis?” his father’s voice calm, steady.

“Y-yes, sir?” trying to remain as collected as possible but he could feel panic setting in in the pit of his stomach.

“How are you?”

_How are you? What a fucking loaded question._

“I, uhm,” Louis adjusted on the sofa, wrapping his arms around one of the decorative pillows, “I’ve… been better,” he admitted.

“I would hope so,” he answered, letting silence fill the space afterward. Louis briefly registered Harry’s hand come to rest on his forearm and he realized he was shaking, tears even now fighting to push to the surface.

“Louis,” his father sighed, and this was it. Louis swallowed, his free hand finding a place resting on top of Harry’s unconsciously.

“I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did,” his words immediately hitting Louis like a freight train, feeling tears prickling his eyes, “You aren’t me, I realize that now. I probably should have realized that a long time ago.”

Louis tightened his grip on Harry’s hand as his tears began trailing down his cheeks.

“I think you should think a bit more before all together passing the crown to Félicité but if you spend some time and decide that is what you want then… then I’ll respect your decision. Bottom line… we’re going to figure this out, alright?”

Louis nodded, too choked up to respond properly but somehow contrived a ‘thank you’.

“Also, Louis, I want you to know I’m not angry with you about the picture. Hopefully within the next few day we will have everything figured out and then when you get back to London we can talk more about everything…. I’ll look forward to meeting this young man.”

“Y-yeah, that… that sounds good,” Louis nodded, biting at his bottom lip, willing himself to keep an even tone but the weight of his father’s words settled deep inside him.

His father did care. Somewhere deep inside he was trying and that was more than he could ask for right now, “Take care of yourself, Louis, I’ll see you soon.”

At some point, Louis had ended up curled against Harry with fingers carding softly through his hair, “H-he’s not mad at me,” Louis managed, tears finally breaking into a steady stream as he lowered his mobile.

Huddling in closer to Harry, he rested against his chest, the unexpected feeling of relief catching him off guard. Mostly from the phone call. Partially from the comfort of Harry's arms around him.

“He’s not mad at me,” Louis repeated, letting it sink in.

“God, Louis, of course he isn’t,” Harry pressed his lips against his temple, tightening his hold on Louis, “You didn’t do anything wrong, why would he be mad at you?”

He dug his fingers into the fabric of Harry’s shirt, suddenly realizing on top of everything else just how much he had missed Harry’s touch. He was faintly aware of Harry whispering reassuringly, but Louis felt too far gone to make out exactly what was being said.

Shutting his eyes tightly, Louis willed himself to soak in every touch, every sensation of the moment. Every part of Harry washing over him, calming and reassuring. Sooner or later, the space between them settled and Harry grew silent, comfortable. Louis could feel his own eyelids growing heavy, relaxing into Harry’s embrace.

If there was a God out there, Louis prayed that Harry would still be there in the morning.

 

. . .

 

Much to Louis’ relief, when he awoke the next morning, Harry was right where he had left him.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Harry’s voice still gravelly from sleep. He reached a hand down to brush stray fringe from Louis’ eyes, “Did you sleep well?”

Louis felt his cheeks reddening, “Yeah actually, better than I have in a long time. It was nice to not fall asleep alone.”

Harry smiled down at him sweetly, “I’m sure hearing from your dad did some good too, yeah?”

He nodded in response, rolling his shoulders in a stretch, “I’m surprised we both managed to sleep on this sofa all night, it’s so small.”

“Nah, just cozy, have to cuddle up just right,” Harry’s dimple making an appearance, eyes focused in on him. Normally, Louis would make an excuse to pull back, put up his guard, but right now that was the last thing he wanted.

Sunlight was just starting to pour into the small flat and the only noises that could be heard was the faint bustle of cars below. Harry was warm and familiar.

Harry felt more like home than anything or anyone Louis had ever known. The thought of leaving this… leaving Paris for London and inevitably Harry terrified him. After this, there was no reason for them to keep seeing each other.

Harry’s hand came to rest on his cheek, thumb brushing sleep from the corner Louis’ eye, “I’m going to make us some breakfast. I saw some beans in the cupboard and I think I can make us some eggs and sausage and see what else I can find. How does that sound?”

“Fucking fantastic,” Louis’ stomach growled in response.

“Good,” Harry ran a hand through his own hair, pushing it out of his face after withdrawing his arms from around Louis. He sat up on the sofa and swung his feet over the side before crossing the distance into the kitchen.

Once Harry’s warmth started fading from the blankets and Louis started to get cold, he reluctantly untangled himself from the blankets and followed Harry into the kitchen.

He crawled up on the counter out of Harry’s way and watched as he busied himself around the kitchen, grabbing utensils and ingredients as needed, “Where did you learn to make a fry-up?”

“After my dad left, my mum had to start working a lot more to care for me and my sister, Gemma,” Harry pulled out a cutting board from the cabinet and started slicing away at a tomato, “There was this sweet older lady that lived next door to us at the time – her kids were grown and had moved to the States but she always loved having us over. Before Gemma and I started primary, we used to stay with her during the day while mum was at work. Even after we started school, Gemma and I would go over and have breakfast with her a few times a week.”

Harry placed the slices in the pan, cleaning off the knife in the sink, “She taught us all her favorite recipes. Told me that if I wanted to be a good husband one day, I better learn to at least do a proper fry-up,” he shook his head, smiling to himself, “She sure was something. Almost like a second mother to us, honestly. Did more for us than our father ever has. God, rest her soul.”

“I’m sorry,” Louis watched for a waiver in Harry’s demeanor.

“Don’t be, it’s how life goes. She passed peacefully a few years back around Christmas. Gemma and I actually were able to be there with her,” Harry flicked off the stove before crossing over to Louis, and settling into the space between his legs hanging from the counter, hands resting on his thighs, “Plus, now I’m a master at making an English breakfast.”

Louis felt his heart rate spike slightly at the gesture, “Now you won’t live the rest of your days as single and alone. Proper husband-material, yeah?”

“She’d be so proud,” Harry squeezed his thighs slightly, watching him for a second before changing the subject, “But, I was thinking that maybe after breakfast we could go see the Eiffel Tower if you’re up for it?”

“That’s so cliche,” Louis scrunched his nose, scooting back a little, “Are you sure there isn’t something else you would rather see?”

“‘m pretty sure I can’t say I’ve been to Paris if I don’t visit the Eiffel Tower… pleaaaaase?” Harry stuck out his bottom lip in protest.

Louis rolled his eyes, doing his best to be a bit dramatic but his smile gave him away, “Okay, Your Majesty.”

 

. . .

 

Quite unlike Louis’ initial feeling that Harry would probably only be excited by the Eiffel Tower for thirty minutes tops, they ended up spending over two hours there. When they left, having no less than twenty different pictures of Harry posing in front of it.

Louis had laughed his way through every new pose he came up with but his favorite by far was one that looked like he was being crushed underneath it. Harry had even talked him into taking a few selfies together in front of the Tower.

They spent the rest of the day strolling down Champs-Élysées, chatting casually and stopping in shops that caught their interest. Everything came easily, naturally. At one point, Louis caught himself reaching for Harry’s hand to grab his attention and after that, there hadn’t been a moment that they weren’t walking hand and hand.

At one shop they stopped in, Harry was admiring a necklace - gold with a small anchor dangling from the chain and Louis had insisted on buying it for him much to Harry’s protests. It was fitting that Harry have it, he thought. And after much convincing, Harry finally gave in.

After grabbing dinner and ice cream for dessert, they headed for the closest Metro station back to the flat. Louis, tucked under Harry’s arm, looked out the window as they pulled out of the station, “Now that we’ve done all the touristy things, tomorrow I’m going to give you a real Paris experience.”

Louis laced his fingers between Harry’s draped around his shoulder, looking up at him. Harry’s free hand was playing with the new necklace around his neck as he looked to Louis, “Gonna make a Parisian out of me?”

He laughed weakly, “My French is shit so I don’t think I’m even qualified.”

 

. . .

“Fuck, I’m so sore,” Louis whined, leaning against the wall and toeing his shoes off.

“You sound like a middle-aged man, it was just some walking,” Harry teased, placing his own shoes at the front door, “I guess being waited on hand and foot doesn’t leave you much need to do a lot of strenuous exercise.”

“Shut it, Styles,” Louis stuck his bottom lip out, shoving his arm lightly before crossing the room and plopping down on the bed. Harry followed soon after, spooning behind him and wrapping his arms around his middle. Louis turned over, cuddling into Harry contently.

“Thank you for today,” Louis spoke up after a few minutes, “I had a lot of fun.”

“Even though I dragged you around Paris all day?” Harry asked, running his fingers through Louis’ hair.

“Because you dragged me around Paris all day,” Louis closed his eyes, relaxing into the feeling of Harry beside him.

He was so gone for him.

Seconds turned into minutes until Louis decided to speak up again, “Harry?”

“Yeah?” Harry responded, heart beating steadily against Louis’ cheek.

“Can I… can I tell you something?” he swallowed past the lump in his throat threatening to consume his words. He needed to say it. He had to say it before it was too late. Before he chickened out and never found the courage again to say it.

“Of course, always,” Harry’s fingers continuing to tangle themselves in his hair.

“I want to stay here,” Louis began, feeling his own heart pounding violently in his chest in comparison to Harry’s.

“I’m sure it’s a lot less stressful here compared to London, I don’t blame you.”

“No, I mean… I want to stay here, with you,” Louis gathered all the courage he could find to continue, “If it’s in Paris or London, I don’t care where I just… I want to be with you. However you’ll have me.”

Louis’ fingers digging into the front of Harry’s shirt, “I know you have other clients and I know that I’m not always the easiest person to handle but–”

“Louis,” Harry interrupted, hand stilling, on his head as he paused, “I haven’t taken any clients in months now,” it fell off his tongue like a long overdue confession, “I just couldn’t make myself do it. I took a few escort jobs but I felt so fucking guilty the whole time.

“I don’t know, I’ve never had this kind of issue before but then… then I met this boy, and fuck,” Harry kept his eyes trained on the ceiling, “somehow he snuck up on me and stole my heart and I haven’t really been the same since.”

Louis felt like his heart was about to stop beating, “Harry–”

Harry rolled onto his side, hands coming to rest on either side of his face, “I want to be with you, Louis, from here on out. I’m here for you and I will do everything in my power to make sure no one ever hurts you.”

“What are you saying?” Louis’ jaw went slack as he hopelessly tried to comprehend what Harry was implying, hoping he wasn’t hearing it wrong.

“I love you… honest to God I’m so in love with you, Louis,” Harry brushed his thumb under his eye, catching a tear Louis hadn’t even realized had surfaced.

Without hesitation, Louis drew his arms around Harry’s shoulders, closing the space between them with a few timid kisses, soft and sweet like they never had before. Harry’s arms winding around his waist and pulling him impossibly closer.

Louis drew back slightly after a few more kisses, catching his breath, “A-are you sure?” a feeling of uncertainty creeping up on him.

After everything could he really be deserving of this?

“Louis, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. And I'll use every day I have left showing you how lucky I am to have found someone like you,” Harry nestled his lips in the crook of his neck and leaving a trail of gentle pecks. Louis responded by spreading out onto his back allowing Harry to crowd above him. He pushed his hands up underneath the back of Harry’s shirt, nails scratching delicately across his skin.

Having Harry in any capacity sent shivers down his spine but this? This was different. This was soft and sweet unlike anything they had done before. No time constraints, no planning or safewords… just the two of them in this moment and no one could take this from them.

“Harry,” Louis spoke up after a few minutes, “I want you… please,” he squeezed his arm lightly, looking him in the eyes.

He pulled back slightly, hand pushing stray hair from Louis’ face, “Yeah?”

“Yes, please,” Louis nodded earnestly, “More than anything.”

Harry nodded in understanding, climbing off the bed to find some lube Louis had tucked away in one of his bags and returned, shedding his own clothes and kneeling between Louis’ own spread legs. Reverently, he began removing Louis’ clothes leaving kisses and a few choice love bites along his body.  


He took his time working Louis open, intoxicated by the way Louis unraveled below him. Once he had gotten him up to three fingers, he withdrew and placed a few pillows under Louis’ bum to prop him up. Harry sat up on his haunches, hands trailing up Louis’ sides and lining himself up.

Harry kissed at his neck, “Are you ready, baby?”

Louis nodded, already breathing heavily, “God, yes, please.”

He nodded, pushing in slowly and drawing lustful moans from Louis underneath him. Harry stopped, giving him a second to adjust before bottoming out and rejoining their lips.

Louis wound his legs around Harry’s lower back, trying to get himself as close as he could. After a moment, Harrying pulling back a little, making slow work of fucking in and out of Louis.

At this point, Louis was beyond making intelligible conversation, clinging to Harry and whining with each thrust.

“I’m going to take such good care of you, make you feel so good. My sweet little prince,” Harry kissed along his collarbone, being as gentle as possible, “Fuck, I love you so much Louis.”

Whether from over stimulation or Harry’s words, Louis felt tears forming in the corner of his eyes, “H-Harry,” he tossed his head backward, fingernails digging into his back, “I want you to come inside me, please.”

Harry swallowed, picking up the pace in response causing Louis to shake through choked sobs, within minutes spilling over his own stomach with a cry. He clenched around Harry who followed soon afterward, falling to his forearms for support to catch his breath. He pulled out carefully, collapsing down next to Louis and running his hands up and down his side gently, "You... you okay?"

Louis nodded through still labored breaths, "Y-yeah I think so," he sighed contently as Harry peppered a few kisses on his sweat-soaked forehead.

Everything inside him fought to say it. Just those three words. He gathered his courage, "Harry?" he whispered, looking up at him. But he had already fallen asleep.

 

. . .

 

The sun was just starting to peek through the window when Louis woke up the next morning. He stretched and turned over to check and make sure Harry was still there - that he hadn’t dreamed last night.

Harry snored lightly, spread out on his stomach as the growing light of day danced over his figure. Something inside pulled at Louis and he reached out to touch him to make sure he wasn’t just imagining it all.

Louis let his hand settle on Harry’s forearm, stroking it lightly. How the fuck did he get so lucky. Harry was everything Louis had never known he needed and more.

He stirred, blinking slowly before cracking a sleepy, dimpled smile, “Hi,” his voice still raspy from sleep.

Louis returned the smile, hand still resting on his arm, “Harry, what you said before,” he trailed off slightly, looking out the window behind Harry.

Harry raised an eyebrow watching him intently, “What is it, Louis?”

“I… I love you too and I don’t care who knows,” he tightened his grip on Harry’s arm, “Actually, I want the world to know... I’ve been so caught up in worrying about what people would think I didn’t realize how little that mattered. Really, all that ever mattered was you,” Louis looked back to Harry who was tearing up slightly.

“D-don’t cry,” Louis sat up and moved closer to him, a bit alarmed.

Harry pushed himself up after him, pulling Louis into a tight embrace and buried his face in the crook of his neck. Louis held onto him, relaxing into the feeling, “You’ve been so good to me I can’t even begin to tell you how much everything you’ve done for me has meant. I can’t imagine living another day without waking up next to you. I just…” he paused, “I want to come out with you,” Louis ran a hand up and down his spine.

Harry pulled back enough to look Louis in the eye, tucking Louis’ fringe behind his ear, “What do you think about beating the blackmailer to the chase and posting a picture of our own?”

“Would you… would you really be okay with that?”

“Of course, Louis, in fact,” Harry turned to grab Louis’ phone off the side table, “Why not use one of the pictures we took in front of the Eiffel Tower yesterday?” he unlocked the phone and  held it out for Louis to take.

Louis studied the picture smiling down at the phone. Harry’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, lips pressed playfully against his temple, Louis laughing and looking like he was trying to squirm away. It was slightly blurry, but it was by far his favorite.

Screw what the public thought, he was tired of hiding. If it was going to come out eventually, why not now. Why not on his terms?

He opened Twitter and began to type out a new tweet, attaching the photo before handing it over to Harry for approval.

Harry smiled and nodded, hitting send.

 

‘ _What a feeling to be right here beside you now. x_ ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW this has definitely been a long time coming and I'm so glad posting day is finally here!
> 
> First and foremost, I'd like to thank the lovely artist who inspired and worked alongside me on this fic, @[dimpled-halo](dimpled-halo.tumblr.com). Thank you for all your hard work and patience as well as the incredible moodboard and playlist. I absolutely loved writing on this prompt and it was really great working with you! 
> 
> Another shout out to my britpicker @[ponymom-stuff](ponymom-stuff.tumblr.com) for being so speedy and responsive to my questions. As well as my group chat for helping me through some tough spots.
> 
> Honestly, though, the biggest thanks goes to my beta, @[takeadeepdrag](takeadeepdrag.tumblr.com) for talking through almost every single detail with me and putting up with literally hours worth of audio messages on whatsapp over the past two and a half months. I really could not have done this without you, Maree, thanks for being the Niall to my Louis and sticking with me through this whole process ❤


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